Love. What is love?
You can fall in love just as fast as you fall out. What is real love? Does true love exist? Why are there more questions than answers? I couldn't tell you.
I have been in love once, maybe twice but how do I know if it was real? The thing is I'll never know. No one knows because love, true love doesn't exist. There's no such thing as a soulmate destined to be with you. There's only what ifs and maybes never something that's solid. I think that love is what you make it so if you believe with your whole heart that true love exists then it's true for you but that's not me.
One time this guy that I really fell hard for told me that he loves me and that he would never leave me. I don't think that he lied to me. Maybe he did feel that way about me in the moment but his feelings for me gradually changed. I'm just bitter because all of my past relationships have always gone South. Every guy that I have loved or at least thought I was in love with has left me. Maybe the problem isn't love, maybe it's me. Maybe I shouldn't blame love for my mistakes, it's my fault isn't it. I don't know what to do, I don't know what's wrong with me. I've just been really down lately I don't know what to do anymore. I apologize if I'm rambling but I just need to get this all off of my chest.
You know I realize that it doesn't matter how you look how amazing you may dress. It matters how you are in the inside I see that now. I know that this has been a roller coaster of a chapter and all of this may not make any sense but I needed to talk how I'm feeling. There is a burning sensation in my chest and I haven't gotten as high wish I could.
I need to get more drugs and all kinds of them
-Nes
