TL;DR Every League Lore

Return of the King: Anivia

Hello everybody. I was reminded of this by my girlfriend who read all of this while it was still in production. It's been 5 years and I still play this game at 19 years old. They say the more things change the more they stay the same, and of all things to stay the same. Of all things to stay the same I wonder why it had to be League of Legends. This was an unsatisfying end to a series that needs it's conclusion. And, out of spite, and in the middle of the covid-19 pandemic, I make my triumphant return to Wattpad!

How did I do this as a kid? Back in the day League client had everything about champion lore in a little 'Summary' tab in the old collection. Some were longer than others, Amumu had one sentence in that tab and Anivia had a fat page of text. But in this day and age every champion has a long intricate lore. Necrit made his whole channel making 20+ minute long videos on every interaction between champions. So much for TL;DR stories.

Now, to channel my inner Wattpad. Terrible grammar, no revisions. The 14 year old angst, swearing every line, overused jokes and WAAY too much banter with the reader. Huh, I'm in the groove already. 

Freljord is an intricate region, the Goddess Avarosa fuckin uhhhhhh... exists? Ashe is it's queen, and with her voice lines updated from 5 years ago the lore of Freljord has only deepened. Calling upon the deities Ashe leads as the figurehead for the Freljordians. Ornn, the mountain blacksmith, Volibear, his brother  seeking Ornn's head for vengeance. And, of course, Anivia. 

Anivia has nothing. Other champions say her name, she is called out like every Freljord release has special interactions. Ashe goes on, and on, and on with Anivia's name but there is NOTHING. 

The old lore had the story that I was supposed to use for this one, phoenix doing phoenix shit, rising from the snow like it was ashes and I thought that shit was so fucking tight 5 years ago. But with how much effort Riot tries to put into the lore, with how important the other champions want to make her seem, shes just an ice phoenix. 

But, fellas, she's OUR ice phoenix. She is the lowest starting base hp in the game. Froggen's pocket pick! She is what fixed a-sols q. The last-hit-with-e, "I have no wave clear before level 6". Shit! Who ordered this Jaaahvin pizza??

I love Anivia. It feels like everybody goes through their Anivia phase. When you look at the lore objectively how good can it be? To most players, each champion exists in a vacuum, our favorite characters coming clearer and clearer to us with each game we play. League doesn't need lore, but with the effort that Riot puts into the lore we can see our favorite characters existing in the haphazardly created universe of Runeterra.

"It's like the designers had a whole bunch of OCs and no story to write them in." Said my girlfriend earlier today. And this chaos, this discombobulated mess is why I decided to start this TL;DR series in the first place. There's no telling if I'll ever get back to this, but in the name of shitpost I'll keep this account alive forever.