Not The Life I Expected

Chapter Twenty-One

After confessing to Arin, it feels like a weight has been lifted off from my shoulders, but I also feel like I made a mistake. I feel like Brian would somehow find out that I told him. 

Our next stop was in Ohio, and we were finally checking into a hotel. I was very excited to be sleeping in a room, not a small cramped little bunk. It's hard sleeping in a bunk when you're pregnant and your stomach is getting bigger by the week. 

We check into the hotel and walk into our room. It was very big! I immediately walk over to the bed and plop down. This was the best bed I've plopped onto in over a month, and probably the best hotel we have ever stayed at in a few years. "I can see you're settling in nicely." Brian smiles at me, sitting down on the bed. I slowly sit myself up and nod, 
"This is a great hotel. I like it already." I move in closer to cuddle up to Brian, and he quickly wraps me into his arms. I'm just starting to feel safe in his arms again, I haven't felt that way since before we moved in together after I graduated. I've longed for that feeling around him for so years, it's ridiculous. 

"So, I was thinking... the guys are going out tonight, and it's been a while since I went out with them." Brian explained to me. I sat up and looked up at Brian as he sat up himself up as well. "You would be alright if I went out?" I smirked and nodded my head, 
"Yeah, that's perfectly fine." I told him. "You really need to go out anyways... and it'll be nice for me to get some alone time to myself just to relax." Brian kisses my head and gets up. 
"I'll try to be home before midnight, I never know when the guys will ever let me leave." 

We say our goodbyes and Brian leaves to go with the guys.

It's nice to finally be alone for once and to enjoy myself for the first time in a very long time. 

I decided to take a nice bath, my back has been sore for a few days and I figured a long, warm soak will do it good. I try to not take too many pain meds right now, I sure don't need my kids being born addicted to pain killers. I spent a good half hour in the bath tub until I decided to take a quick shower. There was no way I wasn't going to shower after sitting in my own filth for over a half hour. 

After my quick shower, I went back out to the bedroom just to relax and watch Netflix. Bless this hotel for Netflix. 

I spent a few hours watching Netflix, until I decided to go to bed around 11:30. 

I was in a deep sleep until I was awoken by Brian coming into the room and turning on the light, drunk of his ass. "Heyyyy, babe!" He yells at me. 
"Brian..." I look over at the clock next to the bed. "It's two in the morning, what are you doing? You're drunk." He stumbles over to me and lays down, laughing nonstop. 
"Hey... come here..." Brian leans over in attempting to kiss me, but I back away. Not just because I'm angry that he woke me up, but because he breath was horrible. All I come smell was vodka on his breath. I cover my nose, 
"Your breath smells really bad."
"Hey, baby... I was thinking, y'know." He laughs more, "We haven't done it in a while!" I shake my head.
"I'm not in the mood. I was sleeping just fine until you came in. It's two in the morning anyways, go to bed."

I turn back away to go to sleep, but Brian pulls me back and gets on top of me. "Brian!" He grabs my wrists and pins them down. I squirm as much as I can to try to break a hand free. I manage to and I slap Brian across the face. "Stop! You're hurting me!" He then slaps me across the face back and quickly realizes what he has done. He gets off from me, 
"Mackenzie, I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!" I get up from the bed and run into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me. Brian follows behind me and stand by the door. "Please, Mackenzie... open the door. I'm drunk... I'm sorry."

Sit against the door and rest the back of my head on it. I cry quietly to myself, I don't know if that was because he was drunk or because he really hasn't changed. "You told me that you would change! You're not sorry!" 
"I don't know what I was thinking, really." I don't know if I can believe a word of his bullshit. I get myself up from the bathroom floor and whip the bathroom door open to my suitcase. "Mackenzie, what are you doing?"
"Leaving you." I didn't even bother folding any clothes whatsoever, I grab everything and stuff in there and only zip it half way before Brian grabs my arm again. "Let me go!" I slap him across the face again, but he grabs both my arms. 
"Please, stop!" Brian yells as he tears up, "I don't know what came over me! Really! I love you, please don't go!" I take back my arms and look at him disgust. 
"I'll tell you what," I spat at him, "This is your one and only last fucking chance. There will be no stopping me if you fuck up again. It's either you seriously change, or I leave and take the boys with me. You won't even see them. You'll be the only one out of everyone else in the band that won't see them." He nods his head and goes to hug me, but I push him away. "I don't even want to see you for the rest of the night. Leave. Go bunk with someone else."

Brian does what I tell him, and gets his things together. He tells me goodbye, but I pay no attention to him.