Knew Better

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Starboy

I was pissed at Shawn, but I knew it won't last. I can't stay angry at him, he'll just use his nice words to make me forgive him. Then I find myself falling without an end. I started taking a walk back home because my high was killed and stepped on like it wasn't important. While I was walking, I had a chance to think. Like what the actual hell. I'm head over heels for a boy that feels that it's okay to walk over my feelings like it's dirt. I mean yeah, okay, I never give him the time of day but, I'm not playing hard to get tuh ! Hard to get .

I got home 15min later with tears in my eyes. I walked up to the door and got the keys under the doormat. My mom is probably out to find a man. Oh well, more space for me to drown in my tears. I hate feelings! It's the most shitiest thing ever. I dragged my feet up the stairs and into my room, closing the door right behind me giving out a loud dramatic sigh as the tears started flowing freely.

"Okay Candice Martin suck it up, the boy is not everything." I said to myself while looking in the mirror. I got my phone and sent Kim a text informing her that I got home safely and that she doesn't have to worry. I put on some music as I proceed to the bathroom to take a long well deserved shower and take care of my hygiene then straight after I'd throw on on some comfortable night clothes and my legendary weed socks. I then got in bed and turned the music off.

I started channel surfing and started  watching Mary Jane reruns. I love this series however this woman is real messed up in the head breaking up marriages and things, but it's whatever. I took my phone off Airplane mode and it vibrated for a while. I had 2 voicemails from Shawn and a reply from Kim and some Facebook and Instagram notifications. I sat contemplating on listening to the voicemails from Shawn then I sat staring at the phone for a good minute but I just said fuck it and opened the first one.

"Candice, man I don't even know what to say. I liked you since forever but I just felt like you were playing hard to get... I'm sorry" I took the phone from my ear. Why is he even trying so hard? I mean he can go to one of his female girlies -same difference-. My phone vibrated with a message from Shawn. I immediately opened it.

Shawn : Hey...
Shawn : I really need to talk.
Shawn : I can see you're reading the messages C.

Me : What do you want?.

Shawn : Why the rudeness? damn baby.
Shawn : C I'm sorry for making you feel the way you feel.

Me : you and this baby shit needs to stop damn. And it's cool no hard feelings you're a Starboy and I'm the weird crazy girl that watches you do your thing flirting with girls. I might sound jealous but yeah I'm really not I used to be in the beginning...

Shawn : Well damn . Why do you even like me C.

Me : I don't know the answer to that question I ask myself that all the time.

Shawn : Oh...

Me : Bye Shawn.

After that I switched my phone off and fell asleep crying. How is it that I love him so much that I cry myself to sleep sometimes, that I think of him constantly and that I pretend to be okay with the thought that I'm not ever going to be his girl like damn.

Feelings suck ...

Shawn

I'm not about to run after Candice anymore. I tried. There are way more hotties to hit up than her virgin self. I took a long drag from my blunt and blew it into Taylor's mouth as we started making out. She's a good kisser not gonna lie. We sat on the backseat of my BMW X5. She sat on my lap as we both took puffs of the joint. I put out the blunt and started kissing on her neck. I laid her down on the seat and things got heated.

I guess I'm a motha'fucking Starboy.