[Book One]
Agatha Miller Nash thought she was finally starting to have the perfect life she always dreamed of while growing up.
She had a job that made her feel proud of herself, the man that she would spend the rest of her life with, and a place s...
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T W E N T Y
The rest of the evening went smoothly between laughs, stories, and good food. A couple of hours ago, I believed this dinner was going to be a disaster, but so far, my father and I have not had a disagreement, which is a lot to say considering how things always end with each other. I could not help but noticed how dad seemed more cheerful and relaxed than I had ever seen him before, which made me question what was really going on in his life. The only times I had ever seen him this way were distant memories I had in the back of my brain from when I was younger.
Through the entirety of the dinner, he kept making jokes about Evan and me. I could not tell if Buck caught on the hints my dad was throwing at us, but I sure did, spending almost all the dinner with a massive flushed face.
After we were done with dessert, Buck excused himself, volunteering to do the dishes and clean the kitchen to give my father and me the space we needed to talk about the situation between us. I smiled at him gratefully as he gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before making his way to the kitchen.
"I want to start by apologizing again, Louise," dad started, his eyebrows furrowed as he briefly looked over at me. "These past few years, I have not been the father that you deserved. I know that right now, no matter what I say or do would change the amount of pain I caused you.
"Now saying it out loud, it sounds horrible and quite selfish, but when I lost your mother, I lost a part of me. I thought that without it, I could not be the person I used to be. Pushing you away while I tried to search for that part I lost has been one of the biggest mistakes of my life," My father paused, his emerald eyes glossy with tears. "I stopped being your father when you needed me the most. You were just a little girl, and I left you alone trying to figure out life, and I understand if you never forgive me for that."
I stayed quiet in my seat, staring at him as I tried to get my thoughts together. Part of me understood where he was coming from, I lost a part of me too when mom died, but at the same time, I could not help but feel anger thinking about all those years I spent raising myself as he left on tours over and over again.
"Our argument on Christmas opened my eyes and made me realize the wrongs and pain I've caused you through the years. When I came back from Afghanistan, I knew I wanted to reconnect with you again and have the relationship we used to have, but I was and still am scared to face you, but I'm tired of running. You deserve to have a father." he continued.
"You have no idea how much pain and emptiness you left in me when you left me behind, but I am older now, and I have learned how to be strong on my own, and for that, I have to thank you." I sighed, folding my hands together, resting them on the table. "In all honesty, dad, I am also scared and tired of all this, and even though things still hurt and it might take a while for me to heal, I am willing to leave things behind so we can start a new chapter. We are not getting any younger, and I do not want to waste any more years without you in my life."
