The Romanov Diary

Prologue

The 16th of March 1917, Tsarskoe Selo.

Czarina Alexandra just received the news about her husband Nicholas, the czar and emperor of the mighty Russia. He's on a train back home to his family from the eastern front in the war, and when Alexandra reads the letter in her hand the lump in her throat starts to grow. It gets hard to breath and it seems as if every light and sound gets louder and brighter for every passing second. The palace walls suffocate her.

Alexandra's hair, beautiful and shiny, sits proudly and elegant in a bun on her head. From her ears two diamond earrings are dangling as she falls forward and supports her weight with her hands on her knees. She's sitting in her bedroom in the Alexander Palace, shaking from worry and shock.

"It can't be true..." She whispers to herself, looking at the parquet floor.

Nicholas has abdicated from the throne, and abdicated for their son tsarevich Alexei. The 304 year long Romanov rule has come to an end with a single movement of a pen. It's been chaos in the capitol for days now.

Or years, actually.

The revolution has built up over many years. Peasants, farmers, soldiers and nobility have turned against the monarchy. No one is protecting the imperial family anymore. The water and electricity is gone, and the royal children are sick in measles. Their condition prevents them from leaving the country. The czarina and her five children are advised to leave the palace, but Alexandra is absolutely certain that the people will come to their senses and everything will go back to normal.

Alix and Nicky have been ruling the great Russia as czarina and czar since 1896, and promised to lead their country into the 20th century with glory and success. Instead, blood and loath has followed them ever since their coronation. Wars, revolutions, violence, murders, betrayal, isolation from the people, starvation, crop failure and ignorance has led the emperor and empress to their current situation. While they went on balls, danced in dresses and suits worth more than normal people could ever make and lived behind walls of gold, the Russian people were starving and grew tired of going out to war with a czar who has no experience with international conflicts.

Alexandra, a former German princess and now former czarina, is a woman with nerves and paranoia enough for an entire army. She's always been terrified that something would happen to her family. And she should be, many nobilities have been hurt or even murdered over the years. Yet, she is completely convinced that nothing can break the bond between the people and their czar. Because God rules through her Nicky, and God is never wrong.

Or at least, she used to be convinced.

All she wants is for her husband to come home. Home from the war against Germany, which will go down in history as "the first world war". She might be German in her own blood, but her support has always been with the land of her husband's. And by the way, she grew up in England far more than she ever did in Germany. Alexandra also misses her right hand, her closest friend and biggest supporter.

Rasputin.

All she wants is to hear his calm voice, telling her that everything will be okay. She wants him to embrace her with his calm and take away her anxiety. Since he died, she's been more stressed out than ever. Both for herself, but also for her family. Especially her son. Ever since Nicholas left for the front two years ago, she's been the head of the government. The czarina, a woman who has despised politicians and ministers are ruling Russia's politics.

Correction, she USED to rule Russia's politics.

When Nicholas finally comes home to his family he's devastated. He marches into the great hall with steady steps. His shoes are wet from what's left of the snow and they rub against the floor as he moves forward. His breath is heavy and eyes big. It's been impossible to contact his family from the train, so you can possibly understand his worry. He's been telegramed about the chaos in Petrograd, but no one mentioned how his family was doing through it all. He left the front as fast as possible to take care of his family, but the former czar is also nervous about what his wife and children will say about his abdication. First his oldest daughter - sometimes called "The Little Empress" as a child - was stripfted of her right to the throne when Alexei was born, and now the chance to rule is gone for them both.

Nicholas opens the doors to the hall. There, in the middle of the room stands his son and his wife. The walls around them, covered in riches and colours, screams of power. Alexei is wearing his favorite sailor suit and Alix is dressed in a long white skirt and blouse. Nicky looks at his young boy Alexei, only 13 years old, with wet eye channels.

Alexei has been raised as a future leader despite his disease: hemophilia. Pain and fear of death has tormented him since the day he was born in 1904. He's been weak and sick many times, and therefore the family kept the tsarevich's condition a secret for everyone except close family. That's also why they hired Rasputin in the first place.

In 1905, Alexei almost lost his life due to an accident, but the munk saved his life and Alexandra and Nicholas will forever be grateful for his service. But keeping Alexei's hemophilia a secret was a great mistake. The people, who hated Grigory Rasputin with pure loath, did not understand why they kept him in the court. But they had to, because who could ever believe in and follow a czar who spends most days in bed being sick? Alexei may be cursed, but he's a witty and brave young boy.

He looks at his father with his light blue Romanov eyes, the same eyes he shares with his father and sisters. They meet in the middle of the room. Their shadows lay on the floor, a father and a son.

A czar and a tsarevich.

Nicholas sits down on his knees, and Alexei strokes his beard before embracing him in a hug. Nicholas can no longer hold back his tears and begs for forgiveness for everything he's done.

"I'm sorry, Alexei. I did my best." The now former czar lets out his sadness and regret which he has kept for himself ever since he signed the documents on the train.

"It's okay Papa, I love you more as a father than a czar anyway." Alexei holds his arms around Nicholas' neck.

Alexandra bows down and joins them. She had told the children about the news before Nicholas returned home, but it took her a few days. The children took it maturely and accepted the situation. However, one of the daughters, Maria, was sometimes found crying in a corner.

A sound from the doors awakens them from their emotional moment. Nicholas looks at Alexei's four older sisters - Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia - as they enter the room. They're dressed in long white gowns and wear white fabric whites, covering their hair. They're covered in red dots from the measles and look more tired than ever, but they shine up as they see their beloved father. Oh, how they have missed him.

Soon the former czar and czarina are embracing their children in a loving hug, uncertain of their fate. They cry and smile, laugh and hulk. Nicholas kisses the cheeks of his five children, happy to be reunited with them. Through it all they've always had each other, and as long as it stays that way, they will survive this too.

"Papa?" Alexei raises his head and looks at his father. "If I can't be czar, then who will? And if we don't have a czar, who will rule Russia?"

Alexandra and Nicholas look at each other, not knowing what to say. The people of Russia are most probably hoping for freedom and democracy now that the monarchy has fallen. But the question everyone in Europe is now asking does not pass on unnoticed.

What will happen with the imperial family now when they are no longer ruling over Russia?

(Picture: A family photo of the Romanov family from 1913. From the left: Olga Nikolaevna, Maria Nikolaevna, Nicholas II, Alexandra Feodorovna, Alexei Nikolaevich, Anastasia Nikolaevna and Tatiana Nikolaevna).