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Postcard

Hi, this is a mini song fic thingo to get me inspired to post again. I wrote this and bc I love Troye Sivan and it served as the inspiration to the tension/storyline when Calum's in London. Enjoy.

Calum was on a business trip in Tokyo, Ashton couldn't come this time but Calum sent a postcard to try and make up for it. Ashton didn't want to read it. Calum knew how much Ashton loved his Japanese so he even wrote it in that language, attaching a separate translation. But Ashton still didn't care.

Calum couldn't sleep, not with Ashton's body not so close. Calum didn't feel like he could function until they moved past the tension caused by the physical distance. They needed the issues between them to be underneath them.

Calum felt like someone had unthread his entire body, like he was so close to bursting. He couldn't stop his mind from imagining Ashton in this big bed, right beside him in this foreign country. He hated that right now he wasn't everything, barely anything, for Ashton. That's all he's ever wanted to be.

Despite it all, Ashton was still the one picking up the pieces of Calum. Calum was terrified of the thought that Ashton could one day stop being there, stop being the one to put him back together. The last he ever wants is for Ashton to put him down, one final time, like everything means nothing.

It's imprinted in his mind, the night that Ashton first called Calum crazy. Calum barely noticed. Ashton kissed and apologised and said 'I love you', just like he was supposed to. But that didn't mean there was a part of him that didn't agree with his own words.

Calum felt like someone had unthread his entire body, like he was so close to bursting. He couldn't stop his mind from imagining Ashton in this big bed, right beside him in this foreign country. He hated that right now he wasn't everything, barely anything, for Ashton. That's all he's ever wanted to be.

Despite it all, Ashton was still the one picking up the pieces of Calum. Calum was terrified of the thought that Ashton could one day stop being there, stop being the one to put him back together. The last he ever wants is for Ashton to put him down, one final time, like everything means nothing.

All Calum wants is for Ashton to take his time. To pull his dom in. To push his dom out when he needed the space. To just say everything in his head, to simplify all the whispers and doubts. So that Calum could know what he was thinking about.

So he could know if Ashton gave a fuck.

A/N: I'll see y'all next week with more, sorry for being sad :(

-Grace Williams xo