Letters and Poems

1: I detest

I detest you with all my heart
And yet I still harbour your feelings

I detest you for everything you've done
And yet you've also helped me

I detest you for how you left me behind
And yet I was the one that left you

I detest you for what you've done to me
For making me feel rage, jealousy, hurt, cast aside but also loved, cared for and friendship

What happened to us?

What happened between us?

Was jealousy really a thing for something I only felt?

You played with me.

And yet you've never left me.

You left me outside, and yet you always kept the door open.

Again and again, these feelings.

I detest that I liked you so much.

That I loved you with all my heart.

That the only times you came to me were the times you needed reasoning and guidance for your next boyfriend or girlfriend.

I felt rage and jealousy.
But I also knew youd never love me the same.

I had to do it.
I had to leave.

And yet, when I left, I felt nothing.
No pain, no joy, no happiness and no sadness.

You never once called since then.
I don't know if it was me or if it was you.

I loved you Jennifer.