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Chapter 6

I had the weirdest dream of my life. That is literally the last time I let Harry allow me to watch Grease and fall asleep. All I know is that Harry does not look appealing in any way when dressed in a poodle skirt and a high-collared blouse. I however, look ridiculously hot as a greaser. Slicked back hair is a good look for me. I’ll have to keep that in mind for our next shoot.

I managed to squirm an arm out of Harry’s embrace to check the time. It was four in the afternoon already. Way to waste an entire day, Louis. I thought to myself. Then, I remembered everything that had happened this morning. Harry taking care of me, eating home cooked pasta, watching Grease. The ‘I love you.’

Shit.

The ‘I love you’ really happened. Even worse, my promise came out too. I never intended to make that promise with him. I don’t know what came over me. I guess it was just a feeling of being scared.

I don’t have Eleanor anymore, and Harry was always the one I could go to with anything, even before Eleanor. Hell, that kid probably loved me more than she ever did. I just can’t risk losing him. Let’s face it, it’s only a matter of time before I do something stupid that I will regret. It will be the one time that Harry just can’t bring himself to forgive me because he’s just so damn sick of my screw ups that he just can’t take it anymore and he leaves.

Then I’d be all alone, and that…that cannot happen.

I shook myself out of the mental hole I just fell into and looked up slightly at Harry who was asleep too. How was he still sleeping even after a full night’s sleep? I smiled to myself as I noticed that the tired look was no longer washed across his face. He still looked quite frustrated though, and I can tell he has something weighing his mind down. Even in his sleep, there is a slight frown that seems to be plaguing him on his face.

I made an attempt to reach up and brush the curls out of his eyes, but his grip around me constricted my arms from doing much of anything. I settled on looking at his tattoos until he decided to wake up.

His wrist ones are probably the ones that make me laugh the most because they all have a quirky meaning. The zigzags representing the craziness of life and how it will always be going up and down, and how no matter what someonewould be by his side to face it with him. I wish I knew who. The four-leafed clover represents how lucky he is to be where he is at today, although Niall swears up and down that it is actually about him. ‘Gome’ as he’d say.  I can’t forget the ‘99p’ one because it is absolutely hilarious. He says he got it because he wants to remember the times when the only things he could afford to buy on his own cost 99p. It’s a cute gesture, really.

My favorite one will always be one of the first tattoos he got. I manage to stretch my index finger up to his left bicep where I drew the word ‘hi’ in a sharpie so many months ago. We went to a tattoo parlor that night after a show and the tattoo artist drew right over it with his tattoo gun. I traced the letters over and over again with a soft touch so I wouldn’t wake him.

“What are you so damn giddy about?” Harry asked through a groggy haze. His eyes followed to where my finger was and he smiled stupidly. “Hi.” He said.

“Hi yourself. Sleep well?” I asked, not quite sure of what to say. Harry was now awake, but hadn’t let go of me. If anything, his grip had tightening since waking up.

He let out a tired moan in response. “What about you? Feeling any better?”

I hadn’t actually thought about my relationship status since waking up. How was I feeling?

Well, if I am being honest with myself, I feel fine. I’m happy at this very moment. Beyond content. I have a little bit of guilt building up in my stomach, but it has nothing to do with what I did to Eleanor and what I did last night. I have this guilt because I don’t feel bad, when I know I should. I feel guilty fornot feeling guilty.