Read All About It

Chapter 8

“I really need to talk to you.” I said with urgency. I was desperate.

“No. Louis, please just leave me alone.”

“Just give me five minutes and I can explain.” I hated to beg, but I needed the truth to be heard.

“Fine, what? What do you have to say for yourself? If It’s an apology, just please don’t. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t take it anymore, Louis. So please, just spare me that much.” The voice on the other end of the line shook with pain and emotion. I did this. This is my entire fault.

“Then I won’t apologize. I do need to explain. I owe you at least that much.” I took in a deep breath as I listened to the silence on the other end of the phone. “Alright. That night, I…I was drunk, and you know that. I wasn’t drunk enough to mean what I said to you. I don’t know why I did. You know how I feel about you. Eleanor, I have loved you from the moment I saw you.” I could feel my voice cracking. My heart was breaking.

“Then why did you do it Louis. Why did you cheat? With one of my friends no less?” Her voice was shattered. My chest hurt.

 I look up and stare at the ceiling of the wardrobe in my room trying to keep back the tears that I knew would come.  I haven’t seen Harry since last night. He hasn’t left his room. So I am here…In my wardrobe because I am ashamed of what I did. My stomach ached with pain and anger.

How could I have been so stupid?

“Louis? Why?” Eleanor’s voice broke my heart even more.

“I…I don’t know. I couldn’t help myself. I’m not as strong as you think I am. I’m different, Eleanor.” I could feel the tears burning down my face, but I ignored it. I wanted to keep talking and explaining, but Eleanor stopped me.

“Louis, honey. I know. You are very different.  It’s a good different. I understand. I really do.” I heard her sigh heavily, “Which is why I am not mad at you. I’m not going to question why you told me what you did. You have your reasons and I will continue to believe that it was the alcohol that made you say that. You need help though, Louis. Not the kind of help I can give to you. You need to work this out yourself. Talk to him, Louis. Please.” Her voice wasn’t mean or upset. It was actually filled with care. She knows what she is telling me. She means it all.

“Eleanor. I love you. More than you will ever know. I am so sorry for everything.”

“I love you too Louis, more than you will allow. Just call him and talk to him. He’ll want to help. Just…promise me you won’t be afraid anymore?” She was pleading now.

I let out a heartbroken sigh mixed with a soft sob of my realization. “Alright. I promise. Goodbye Eleanor. Thank you.” It was a solemn goodbye and very bittersweet.

I rested my head against the back of the wardrobe for a solid twenty minutes trying to work up the courage to scroll through my contacts. My head was reeling and I could still feel the tears coming down my face.

How did I get myself into this mess? All I wanted was a party. Now I’ve lost Harry and Eleanor.

If I call him, there is a chance we can fix things and things could be better…but there is also a chance that I may be stuck knowing something that I don’t want to know and have nobody to help me with it.

“This is exactly why I can’t be alone.” I said aloud, slamming my head against the wall again in defeat. I reached a shaky hand into my pocket and pulled my cell phone. So much of my life and future was relying on this phone call. I think much more then I actually realize is depending on this.