Wealth, Health, and Success

Chapter Two

Dereck was self-motivated and hated being told what to do. Despite his anger, he stayed on top of his chores, cooked on the days Amelia worked and kept to his studies. He was acting noticeably more introverted toward everyone in his circle. Rumors were floating. He was homeless and begging for money which made him refrain from traveling out of the apartment he had paid the account on.

Amelia still loved him deeply but was terrified of showing him. She saw all the signs he would leave again and kept from speaking her mind in hopes he would stay. She walked on eggshells to avoid him entirely to prevent fights. Deep down, Dereck wanted nothing more than for her to show interest in him. The less she did, the more distant he became. They were at an impasse and the days ticked until their bills were due again.

It was the 15th of January. Amelia had gotten extra shifts to avoid being home alone in the silence. People asked about Dereck, and she told them he was never homeless and made great money. She defended him with her every breath when he was away but never spoke to him directly. The men who once flirted with her had backed off seeing the grizzled and hardened Dereck picking Amelia up from work, wanting no part of his rage.

In truth, Dereck had fallen into a deep depression and drug abuse. He might have fallen into alcoholism, but he didn't like feeling drunk. He felt like he had lost his dream of true business ownership.

He filled out applications for the work available in the town. To keep his budget, he worked nights cleaning floors, buffering, and mopping. He earned only $8 an hour, but no one else would hire him. His boss was a local business owner who said, "There's money out there, but people don't want to work hard." Dereck would be away at night for 10 hours, returning at 4-7 am. However, he wasn't paid for the 3-5hrs of travel on a given night, so he only earned 5-7hrs for his time. Exhausted from classes and hangovers, he was terrified of what his life could become on this path. He had no time left for himself, not unless he had given up the drugs, which he felt was the only thing keeping him functioning at all.

Dereck had machinations of Amelia cheating on him with her coworkers, replaying the rumors from his so-called friends who questioned his success, and the pressures of bills kept him on edge. The prospect of working underneath someone until he died took away his will to live. Filling out job applications, doing his chores, and his online classes were all he could do to feel like a man to feel human with some control over his fate.

He cut back on his drinking, but his smoking felt like his only solace.

Whenever Amelia came home, he smelled of whiskey and ever clear. She went straight to the bedroom and locked the door. It broke his heart every day. His mind drifted between suicide and business ideas. When he didn't have any drugs, his lost will to live was obvious. Not wanting to participate in his loveless relationship or speak about his broken dreams.

Amelia came home one day to find him writing a letter. Tears fell down his face from the ruminations. She fought everything inside her from speaking to him. Turning up her nose and locking the bedroom door behind her as she did every day. It was all Dereck could take as he finished his letter, his last will, and testament. He tried his last chance at communicating with Amelia, knowing he no longer wanted to live. She refused to come to the door, screaming at him from the other side.

Dereck was a heavy-set man with the power to kick the door in as he had done earlier in their relationship. He had no more energy for rage or arguments. All he felt was pain anymore. He took his belt from around his waist, knowing the ceiling wouldn't support his weight. He returned to the living room, sitting on his knees and turning up the TV as he wrapped the belt around his neck, clasping it tightly with no room for his fingers to even create air between his skin and the leather. He felt his heart beating out of his chest as his fear response sparked, telling him to stop. He swore against his cowardice feeling death was better than living as a failure.