'He wanted me to be a memory, but I want something more.'
"Maybe in another universe, we'll stay like this forever."
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Two boys. Noah and Elliot.
Meeting because of happenstance.
Their time was ephemeral but th...
It's decided, Elliot is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.
There's something about the night light hitting his face in a way that I haven't got the time to figure out that makes him so magnetic.
The cold breeze nipping at my neck and blowing his curly hair out of his face. Making it even more exposed to me than ever before.
We left the diner 30 minutes ago. Leaving his car parked there, we decided to walk all through out the city. Without a clear destination ahead, we were walking side by side. Leather touching arm.
My hands clinging to my sides, I'm focusing so hard on trying not to brush my hand in his.
"Why are you staring?"
"No, I'm not." I quickly glanced away from his enigmatic face.
He chuckled, making me face him again. My eyes quickly drawn to him. He shakes his head lightly, wild curls moving gracefully in his head.
"Why do you always make fun of me?" I asked him, my eyebrow quirking a little.
"I'm not trying to." he glanced at me for a second, then kept his eyes ahead.
"Yes, you are. You purposely say things to embarrass me." I accused him, my pointy finger poking him in his arm.
"You really think that staring at me is embarrassing?"
His eyes focused on me, a glint of mischievousness in them.
"Well no. I think getting caught by you IS embarrassing." I said, keeping my eyes ahead of us.
I can feel his eyes on me, tracing every movement I make. I rub the ends of my neck, the little hairs in it standing straight up.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why?" I asked back. In my peripheral view I can see him nod.
"Because..." I stated exaggeratedly. Still not looking his way.
"Because?" He inquired, still looking at me. I swear to God if this guy does not stop staring at me I am going to self combust.
"Because..." I said looking at our surrounding. A couple snuggled together while walking in the other side. Some people walking by themselves, scattered, and a group of teenage boys were loitered behind us. But no one was near enough to hear what we're talking about, never the less I still whispered.
"It's gay." My voice so soft, I was afraid the breeze would overpower it.
A beat of silence had passed and then I heard the loudest laugh came out of Elliot's mouth. He doubled-over in laughter. He actually stopped in the middle of walking and clutched his stomach.
I rolled my eyes at him. Burying the overwhelming feeling of pride because I made him laugh. I pushed his arm gently.
"Stop laughing." but I chuckled as well. Can't help the feeling of euphoria bubbling up in my stomach.
His laughter died down eventually, but the occasional chuckle could still be heard.
"It was not that funny." I muttered, hugging myself with my arms.
"It was."
"Was not!"
"It was!"
"Was not!!" I grumbled looking at him. but he was already looking at me.
"Fuck! you're adorable." he exclaimed surprising me. WHAT THE FUCK? I looked at him dumbfounded. I tried reading his face, tried seeing if he's joking, but even though he was smiling I can see that what he's saying is genuine. And that thought scared me.
"You can't say shit like that." I said instead, starting to walk again. He catch up to me.
"Why not?"
"Because that's gay!" I whisper-yelled at him, he quirk his eyebrow at me.
"And so?" He said, his eyes now trained at the path ahead. Buildings upon buildings can be seen, I trained my eyes ahead as well.
"Well, aren't you scared to be called gay?" I asked, not looking at him still. I can feel his shoulder tense slightly. His leather jacket once again caressed my naked arms. Goosebumps spread all throughout my body from the contact.
"Not if it's true." he exhaled. I stopped walking, my breath also slowed down. Of course I thought about it. Elliot being gay or bi or pan or anything other than straight. I thought about why he bought me dinner, why he let me go with him. I thought about why I feel like there's constant tension between us. I thought about him with me. Even though I'm straight, or at least I thought I was. I don't know anymore to be honest. But him confirming that he is in fact gay is making my mind malfunction.
I forced my feet to start walking again, his footsteps coinciding with mine. He didn't say anything, he's waiting for me to react. His whole body is still tensed.
"Oh." I said.
"Oh?" He asked.
"Yeah." I muttered eyes still ahead of us. My heart beating fast in my chest.
"So you're gay?" I asked after awhile of silence between us.
"Yeah." he breathed silently, almost like he's afraid. "Are you?"
"yeah..... I mean no.... I don't know." I fumbled with my words. Butterflies once again flock my stomach.
"You don't know?" he asked, I can feel his gaze at me. Burning in my cheeks.
So I looked back at him and nodded.
"That's okay, you don't have to know." He said, then winked at me, my cheeks flushed.
I quickly divert my eyes towards the road. A group of people were huddled together. A melodic voice were carried by the wind. The sound of guitar echoing through out the chilly night air.
My hand was suddenly being pulled by Elliot, his warm hand searing through my cold skin and his grip so tight I think that it's gonna leave a mark. He dragged me towards the crowd.
We weaved through the people, in the middle of the crowd is a man with his guitar singing to a mic. A guitar case plop down at his feet with money inside of it.
Elliot lets go of my hand. I touched my arm briefly. Missing the warmness of his skin on mine. My heart suddenly thump out of my chest because an idea just pop in my head. Before I think better of my action, I snake my hand towards his and guide his hand on my own.
He looked at me curiously but I just shook my head at him and blushed. Trying my best to focus at the man singing. He squeezed my hand, as if saying he understand.
I don't know what this all mean, but all I know is that I feel like I'm having a heart attack because ever since I've met Elliot my heart never stops fluttering. FUCK.
