Not All Just Roses

Counseling

(Gracie's POV, Monday morning.........)

I was at work finishing up some paperwork before I leave for Qin and I's first counseling session that I squeezed into my lunch break. It's been a rough few weeks and we decided to go to counseling for it. This is to help improve ourselves and help our marriage.

I sat at my desk as Levi sat on the other side. "Hey, Gracie, what's going on? You seem a little distracted," he said as I started to wrap things up with my work. "I'm fine just got a lot on my mind," I said as I started to pack up. "Well, what is it? Maybe I can help," he said as he slightly leaned over the desk. "It's just problems with my husband, that's all," I said standing up with my bag.

"Well, I hope everything works out with you and your husband. If there is anything I can do, just let me know," Levi said as he stood up as well. "Thank you, but I'm going to be fine," I said as he opened the door for me and I walked out.

I walked to my car and started on my way to meet Qin at the counseling office.

*****

A few moments later, I was parked in the car garage waiting on Qin. I soon heard a knock at my car window and saw that it was Qin. I got out of the car and we started to walk in. "I can't believe you got me doing this," he said under his breath. "What are you talking about? You agreed to it. Remember?" I asked looking at him as we continued to walk. "Grace, I was fucken drunk," he said raising his shoulders.

"Okay, Qin, stop. Look at me. Do you want to improve our relationship or not?" I asked as we stopped in the middle of the garage. "Of course I do," he said looking off to the side then back at me. "Okay, well this is going to help us. Help us with getting our life back together. Alright?" I said grabbing his hands. "Alright," he said kissing me on the forehead as we continued walking.

We soon got into the office and sat down in the waiting room. As we filled out a questionnaire, we saw another couple come looking like that it was more of a problem when they went in. I could tell that it made both of us more nervous than we already are. We soon heard our names be called and we walked into the back and sat down.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Wilson. What seems to be the problem today?" she asked as she started writing in her paper. "Well, Dr. Wison, we have been having trouble communicating lately, and we have been arguing a lot and we believe that it is affecting our kids," I said as I held Qin's hands. "Well, Qinterio, what do you think the problem is?" Dr. Wilson asked as she looked at Qin.

Qin looked at me before he started talking. "Well, if I'm being honest, I think that we are losing our connection," Qin said looking at Dr. Wilson. "Wait, you really think that? And you didn't say anything to me?" I asked looking at Qin. "I didn't want to say anything because I thought the feeling was going away. Then it hit me. The only reason why we got married is because of the kids. I didn't want the kids to grow up wondering why we aren't together. Plus it was very unexpected, and I didn't know-" he said while using hand expressions.

"What are you trying to say, Qin?" I asked a bit confused by what he was saying. "I didn't know if I should have asked you to get an abortio-" and before he could finish I slapped my hand across his face and stormed out. "Mrs. Jones?" I heard the therapist call after me. I soon felt tears coming down my face as I turned around to face her.

"How can he say something about the kids that we created together?" I asked as I wiped the tears from my face. "I understand where your coming from, trust me I do. But we are not going to solve anything if this is how every issue is approached. So, may you please come back into the room?" She asked as she held her arm towards the door. I nodded my head as I walked back into the room, ready for the next issue to come up.

*****

Qin and I session was finally over. We walked back to the parking garage in silence. Qin opened my car door for me to get in, but before I did I just have to ask something. "I have one question, and I want you to answer it truthfully," I said standing in front of the door to my car while looking at him. "What is it?" He asked as he looked at the grand with his eyebrows raised. "Do you still love me?" I asked as I continued to look at him.

He took a deep breath before he responded. "I don't know," he said still looking at the ground. As he gave his answer, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Even though it wasn't a complete 'no', it felt like it.

I can't let this happen not just for me, but for my family........

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