The Girl With The Purple Glasses

Lets Start In The Begining

Where should I start..
    I don't really know when it exactly was, but something happened. When ever it was,  I differently wasn't ever the same after. Maybe it was my first break up with someone I thought I loved by getting cheated on, or maybe it was the second one, or maybe it was the third one.

Now I just don't know nor remember what it's like to be in love. Maybe I put up a block, all I know is that nothing makes since like it used to. Being fearless, just not caring. It was nice, but I was also 17. I mean I'm only 19 but, mentally I'm about 23.

When I meat someone I pay close attention to every detail. I watch their movements, how they walk, their facial expressions and the rhythm within they're speech. Then the eyes, I've heard people say the eyes are the key to the soul and I believe it. When I look at you I'm looking at you as if I see your past you carry around.

That's when I ask, "What's your story?" people look at me, "My story?" I say "Yes, your story. What made you, you." Then they go on with a story of when they started working or where they grew up or lived as a child. I listen, but they never ask back. That's when I came up with the idea of my video diary. " Malia clears her throat, "Video one, Girl with the purple glasses." She reaches over and lifts up purple oval glasses with open swirls made out of metal, and places them on her face. "My story begins."

"It's august 5th, 2015. I'm not really sure why I desired to do these diaries I just thought it'd be fun to try..I guess," Malia giggles,"I guess I should try to start...hmmm..where To start... I guess I could start with Jacob. Jacob was one year younger than me, tan muscular skin, nice smile, nice hair, outfit, just fresh. Mmmm, he was yummy I mean to me, haha. But he wasn't to hot after it all. He was more like a dark shadow I guess.

I fell hard and came out scared up, no scratches just scars and strength. I'm stronger than I thought I ever was. He made me do things I never thought I would honestly do, because a guys told me to. How wrong how dumb does a girl have to be to do what ever a guy tells her to do.

"The hardest part is letting go. Let go of what was for what's now and what could happen in the future. Relying on the the past is only going to make you think and stress for no reason. The past was the past. But just because you let go of what demon doesn't mean another wont come around.

David. Oh boy. Why did I even. Can anyone tell me what the fuck I was thinking like what the fuck. I mean that smile though... Its just what happens on in his mind makes no scene, how can you go for a month back and forth with a girl who did nothing but prove to you that she 'loved', " she puts up finger quotes when she says love. " you who said that I deserved being taken advantage of , that knowing that I was young and just got out of a heavy relationship you still repeated what happened with the last guy. What gave you the right to do that? No one, so you just did it for fun? The shit I want to ask him.

The last time I talked to David was January 24th, at a house party. He pulled me in the restroom of the house and tried to talk to me. All he kept telling me what that he still loved me and blah blah blah. Thankfully my friend Mikayla came to my rescue and pulled me out. I decided after a while of thinking to go and talk to hi myself and tell him that its over for like good, yeah we could be friends for right now but he just didn't want that. Then Mikayla came to the rescue once again and took me out of the restroom. David stormed out of the house and started walking home.

All I could do is feel bad. On the way driving home I had to charge my phone well after it charged a bit I turned my phone one. The first text message was from David." Malia pulled out her cell phone to look for the text messages. " 'I'm gonna do something stupid.' I sent 'what are you gonna do' he said 'kill myself' now when someone says that yeah I'm gonna worry but Hess said this before and never does anything He's all mouth, any-who, I sent 'why' he said 'you;' I was like the fuck why but I really said 'what about me' he said 'I love you an can't have you. Why live?' now just stop. Why do you have to be so sad now but when you had me why do what you did how simple is that?

Men.