Moon Blessed (PAUSED)

I Actually Get Kidnapped

*snoreeeeee* *snooooooore* *SNOOOOOOOORE* *SnOoOoOoOrE* *SNOOOOOOOOOREEEEKKKK* 

EEEEEE! Oops. Sorry about that. My alarm always scares me.

I CAN SEE YOUR JUDGING FACES A MILE AWAY. STOP JUDGING. I ALWAYS WAKE UP BECAUSE OF SNORING AND THEN I WON'T MISS ALARMS. SO STOP. JUST. STOP.

Oh yeah, my little sister Skylar also is my alarm clock. She is such an early bird. But the question is, HOWW???

*crackle* *steeeerrrreeech*

Okay, I'm going back to sleep. Heehee. *insert smirk* Well, because it's 5:00. Who wakes up at that time???

~~~One hour lataaaa~~~ *cue the spongebob narrator voice*

*muffled voices* *continous bumping* *extreme suffocating*

Wait what? AHHHHHG WHERE'S THIS?

FLIBEBERDABFDSAFKLJEONGIEHS;FAWENOI??!?!! P;I4E02;PXEK (i slammed my head onto the keyboard)

And why is there this wolfsbane gas dispenser blowing stuff into my nostrils?

HOW DARE YOU, ORGANISM! WHEN I FIND YOU, I WILL FEED YOU TO FLESH EATING ELEPHANTS AFTER CHOPPING YOU INTO SALAMI AND MARINATING YOU IN YOUR PEE AND SOME FLOUR.

OK I'M ACTUALLY NOT GONNA DO THAT 'CAUSE IT'S DISGUSTING, BUT WHO PUT ME HERE???

Wait. I hear trumpeting. I smell trumpeting. I feel trumpeting. I see trumpeting. But most importantly, I TASTE TRUMPEEEEEETING!!!

Why are they even trumpeting? Are they trying to burst my eardrums? Hmph. Just wait when I scream in YOUR eardrums.

I smell something. It smells like rotten eggs and garbage fluid??

Why's there a huge nose in my face.

HALP HALP HALP-

The nose exclaims, "Why hello dear mate, are you enjoying your visit?"

Being me, I snark back, "Well of course, my living conditions are sooooooo great, they couldn't even be better! *insert rolling of the eyes* There's sooo much food, and my silver chains are so comfortable! The wolfsbane dispenser blowing stuff into my nostrils is awesome, too! The only things that's bad about this place is everywhere and your big fat ugly nose! How wonderful! You fulfilled all of my wishes *cue more rolling of the eyes* and I couldn't have anything better. Yay!!! Good for me!!!"

However, the fat ugly nose didn't seem to understand the language sarcasm, and proceeded to say, "Well, you should be very very very very very grateful, because I spent a ton of money on here. Now dear mate, we will mate next full moon. Then we will produce a child and we will take over the world!!!"

Er, "dear mate", you must have mental problems to think I would allow you to even grope me.

So, HEADBUTT! Mission accomplished! *mentally dusts hands off*

He looks dizzy. I swing on the chains and successfully electrocute him after smashing him with my bound feet. After that, I use electricity to shatter the chains.

THANK MOON GODDESS I'M STILL WEARING MY CLOTHES.

Just to be safe, I stomp on his head a couple of times and bind him with some rope in the back. Then I run away. I smell horrible.

Seriously, I smell like some mice peed on me and dragged some rotten maggot stuff onto me. 

*1 hour lataaa* *cues the spongebob narrator voice*

FI. NA. LLY. I HAVE FOUND THE PACK GROUNDS AGAIN. AFTER ONE HOUR OF SNIFFING THE AIR AND TORTURE. HALP.

Ace was running around the forest sniffing everything trying to find me and my scent trail. I hopped on a tree, got a long, skinny branch, and poked him.

He jumped up and literally snapped the branch into several million bits and then saw me. Then he shifted back in a bush, put on some clothes, and screamed, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???"

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING UNTIL TODAY MY WIFI HAS BEEN ACTING SUPER WONKEY BYEEEEE I HOPE YOU DON'T HATE THIS CHAPTERRRR~ YES I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT IVE BEEN HAVING TONS OF EXTRACURRICULAR HW AND STUFF AND IM PLANNING A NEW BOOK FOR NO REASON