𝕯𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 // 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗢𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗿

Chapter 5

Flashback

I'm surrounded on all sides by the other eighteen-year-old girls living in District 7. Their bodies press in around me, making it hard to breathe. The dress I'm wearing is too small, old, and ragged, but it's all we can afford.

Deep in the pit of my stomach, a seed of fear and worry begins to grow, planting its roots inside of my heart. What if I'm picked? Panic threatens to consume me, after all, I'm in more danger this year than ever before. Twenty-one slips of paper hold the name Iris Gilardi carefully written on them. Any of those slips could bring about my death.

"Welcome everyone to the reaping for the sixty-eighth annual Hunger Games!" Loralie, District 7's escort, announces excitedly. "Today, we'll choose two young, strong individuals to represent this wonderful district, and, hopefully, one of them will return a victor. Let's begin!"

I take a long, shaky breath, hoping with everything in me that she won't pick my name out of that glass bowl. I wouldn't stand a chance. 

Reaching her hand delicately into the bowl, Loralie plucks a slip of pristine white paper out. "And our female tribute is... Iris Gilardi! Come on up, sweetie."

I can feel my body turn to stone. Realization washes over me as I force my muscles to unlock, walking unsteadily towards the stage. Keeping my head held high, I fight back the tears threatening to pour from my eyes.

"Lovely," Loralie squeaks in her high pitched accent. "Any volunteers?" Her question is met with silence. "No? Let's move on to the boys." Dipping her fingers into the other bowl, she selects another victim. "Felix Root!"

•••

I wake in a cold sweat, my sheets tangled around my legs. I can feel goosebumps prickling my skin. Breathing heavily, I try to blot the gory memories from my mind, but I'm met with little success. I can still hear the screams of my victims ringing in my ears, haunting me for the rest of eternity.

Pale sunlight streams through the window, bathing the room in a soft glow. It's early, but not early enough to where people will ask questions as to why I'm awake. They wouldn't understand, anyway.

Peeling my body off of the bed, I stumble into my bathroom. I quickly turn the shower on, stripping my sweaty clothes off before stepping under the hot stream of water. If I can wash away all the evidence of my nightmares, then no one will ask. It's better this way. I can protect them from having to deal with my shit.

When I'm done, I stare at myself in the mirror, letting the water drip from my dark hair. I clutch the towel that's wrapped around my body until my knuckles turn white.

My skin is flawless and smooth, not a pimple or imperfection to be seen. My face has been altered, too. It's no longer chubby and scarred, but defined and... not me. My eyes are the only things that the Capitol hasn't touched. My forest-green eyes, just like my mother's. They even messed with my hair to make it less unruly.

Fuck. Tearing my gaze away from the mirror, I quickly dry off, getting dressed in some comfortable clothes. I'll have to find something to cover the mirror with later.

Leaving my room, I quietly walk down the stairs. I enter the kitchen, deciding to go ahead a start making breakfast. Flipping a light on, I begin to pull out supplies.

Getting to work, I start to make pancakes and scrambled eggs. I add chocolate to the batter because who eats pancakes without chocolate? I bet Snow doesn't.

As I watch the food cook, I savor the smell wafting from it. Mmm...

"What's going on in here?"

Turning around, I smile at the old woman standing in the doorway. "Good morning, Grandma. I'm making breakfast."

"Let me help," she says, starting to move towards me.

"Nope," I reply, blocking her. "Let me take care of you for once." Seeing the look in her eyes, I add, "please."

"Fine. Go ahead and be stubborn," she grumbles, taking a seat at the table.

"I will, thank you very much."

"What are you making anyway?"
"Pancakes," I answer, returning to preparing the food. "Eggs, too."

"Hmm..."

"I was going to ask Blight to come over. Might as well, all things considered," I say, bustling around the kitchen.

"I can do that-"

"No, I'll do it." Stacking the now finished pancakes on a plate, I set them on the table, quickly doing the same with the eggs. "I'll be right back."

Stepping outside, I jog down the street towards Blight's house. I knock on the door before waiting for it to open.

"What is it?" Blight's voice comes from somewhere inside. It's quickly followed by footsteps, then the door opening. He's still dressed in what he slept in, complete with a case of bed head. "Iris? What are you doing outside my door this early?"

"I wanted to know if you'd care to come over for breakfast," I reply cheerfully. I honestly have no idea where this energy has come from. Who am I kidding? I'm just trying to hide the depression eating away at me.

"I don't know-" Blight starts to protest.
"There're chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs."

"You had me at chocolate."

"Great," I say, smiling. "Food's ready whenever you are."

"Just give me a few minutes," Blight says.

"Sure, but hurry. Oh, and I'll leave the door unlocked, so just come on in when you arrive."

"Got it," Blight says, retreating inside his house.

I quickly make my way back home. "I hope you haven't eaten it all," I call out as I shut the front door behind me, walking towards the kitchen.

"Don't worry. You made enough to feed a district," comes a reply.

Entering the room, I grab enough plates and utensils for the three of us. Placing them around the table, I take a seat next to my grandmother. "Sleep well?" I ask, taking a few pancakes from the stack and piling them on my plate.

"Better than you, I assume," she answers, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she says innocently. "Just don't think for a minute that I haven't noticed the circles under your eyes."

Letting out a sigh, I allow the smile to drop from my face. "I'm fine, Grandma. I really am."

The front door opens, and soon Blight joins us in the kitchen.

Smiling again, I'm quick to make idle conversation. Maybe I'm not being entirely honest with everyone when I say that I'm fine. Maybe I'm not even being honest with myself. But maybe I just can't keep myself sane while being truthful at the same time. Maybe I'm broken and I just haven't realized it yet.

Author's Note

Oof, sorry for the 2 week wait. I may have accidentally forgotten that I needed to update this story, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm finally updating it.

I don't know why every time I sit down and try and write a lighthearted chapter for this story I make it so depressing. This chapter was supposed to be happy, I promise. I'm not sure where that plan went wrong.

I'm really not sure how I feel about this chapter. I like some bits, but I also feel like I may have rushed parts... so let me know what you think.

Also, I understand that my descriptions of Iris cooking were absolute trash. I suck at cooking, so that's why. Go ahead and make fun of me.

Let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you want to see from this story in the future. I'm always looking for inspiration, so any ideas are more than welcome. I'll try to update again soon, but I'm not going to make any promises I can't keep.