Sleeping With The Enemy (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Day 142

Kyungsoo

Rumors are said to spread like wildfire, uncontrollably fast. Whoever said that must have been a genius because they were right. 

By the time a week had passed, I think everyone in school knew about Jongin and I. Of course, most of it was just rumors and made-up, dramatic retellings of what happened, none of which were true, but I didn't really enjoy constantly having people staring at me. I could barely walk down the hall without glares and curious whispers piercing through my skin and ears. I wondered if this was how animals felt in a zoo.

He hadn't spoken to me since that day. I tried hard to understand why he was upset, to put myself in his shoes, but I couldn't seem to do it. I didn't want to lie, but I also didn't want either of us to get suspended or kicked out, especially so close to graduation and the showcase. I had to do it. I didn't think I could have lived with myself knowing I let him make such a huge sacrifice for me.

All of it made concentrating difficult, but I still did my best to push through. After all, this wasn't the first time I experience hardship at an inconvenient time and it wouldn't be the last. Baekhyun and Leo were at least supportive, which made day-to-day life a little easier.

"I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing," Baekhyun said. "Dealing with the feelings from lying is a lot easier than being suspended."

"I thought so, too, but I guess Jongin doesn't," I said with a shrug. I sighed and pushed around the rice on my plate. "I think he's being a little immature about it, but I know the moment I say that, it'll just make things worse."

"I doubt he's mad at you, but more so mad at the situation," Chanyeol chimed in, earning my attention. "I mean, there's not a lot either of you could have done, which was probably why he was so willing to take the fall. At least it would give him a sense of control in a case where he really had none. But he's stubborn as hell, so he won't admit that for a while, even if he knows it's true."

"Hm, I didn't think about it that way." I looked down again and narrowed my eyes in thought for a moment. "I guess it helps me understand him better, but I still don't regret what I did. I'd rather have him not speaking to me than not have him here at all."

"Try not to worry about it too much," Chanyeol said with a few nods. "You did what you thought was right and that's what counts. He'll see that one day and then come crawling back with his tail between his legs."

That made me chuckle a little as I nodded a couple of times. "I hope you're right."

Jongin

I was angry. I was blindsided, thrown out onto the stage and expected to perform without any rehearsal time, of course, I'd be angry. Maybe angry was too strong of a word, but it was what I felt. 

Even if I couldn't have talked him out of it, it would have been nice to know that he was considering lying to the principal about us dating so that I wouldn't have looked like a total fool. Having to hear people say that I was getting karma for what I did to Luhan didn't help make me feel any better either. Rumors and lies like that usually never bothered me, but they did now. 

I tried to channel all of my negative energy and feelings into practicing for the showcase before I did or said something stupid that would disqualify me from performing. I spent pretty much every spare moment in the dance studio, not even bothering to talk to people a whole lot--especially Kyungsoo. I wasn't mad at him necessarily, but I knew myself and I needed time to cool down before I talked to him again.

One day, I was in the studio pretty late and Sehun ended up coming in at some point. "I came to check on you," he said. "You've been in here pretty much the whole day. I thought you died in here."

I looked up at the clock and saw it was almost 10 p.m. "Shit, I didn't even realize what time it was," I said, feeling slightly out of breath. I felt his eyes on me as I walked over to my bag.

"Luhan told me what happened," he said, the name making me freeze. After a moment, I just sighed and continued to search for my towel. "He seems to feel bad...not that that makes up for anything."

"No, it really doesn't," I said as I stood up straight and wiped the sweat off my face. 

Sehun exhaled as I turned around. "Well, at least you're still here, right? It would have sucked if you got suspended or something."

I knew he was trying to show me the bright side, but I wasn't feeling particularly bright. "Yeah, well, that's why I've been here for so long. Trying to make all the bullshit worth it, you know?"

He hummed and nodded, silently looking at me for a few moments. "Have you talked to Kyungsoo? From what Chanyeol has told me, you haven't."

I glanced at him. "I'm not ready," I said. "I know why he did it, but I'm still upset that he didn't at least tell me he was thinking about it. It wouldn't be smart for me to talk to him like this."

"Fair enough, but maybe just a 'Hi, I'm still alive' text would be nice, you know?" he suggested. "I'm sure he didn't want to lie, but I think we both know how much worse you'd be feeling if you weren't here. If I cared about someone like that, I would have done the same thing."

"I know, I know all of this, I know I'm probably being dramatic," I said, waving my hands around a little. "I just...I need some time to make sense of everything going inside my head. I'm upset about a lot of things that have very little to do with him and I don't want to say something I'l regret."

"And you should do that, but try not to do something you'll regret either like you know leave him hanging and wondering where you two stand," he said. "Even if you have all of the best intentions, your actions are what really determine how someone responds."

I could only look at him for a few seconds before I moved my eyes away. I knew he was right, but the truth was, I was scared. Scared of what? So much that I didn't think even I could list everything. But mostly, I was scared of losing Kyungsoo.