Rabbit Blood

Chapter 25 - A Pox On Us

Leslie passed another sleepless night. The last meeting was a game changer. Alastor's play had moved past the point of suggestion, and she got to touch him, really touch him. God, Leslie couldn't stop thinking about it. He was right; they were onto a good thing.

The whole day, she was distracted, trying to relive what had gone before. She bit her knuckles. She cradled cups of coffee, relishing their heat against her palms. Around midday, she skipped to the studio, got on the floor and re-enacted the sit-up hold, feeling the burn in her stomach. This maelstrom of emotion was almost too much, and she wished something would come along to make her think like a human again.

Two days later, she got her wish.

Leslie was in a teaching session, led by Vaggie, and doodled in the margins of her notebook, mostly woodland creatures. Rabbits. Deer.

"Alternatives to violence," said Vaggie to the assembled demons. "Has anyone heard the phrase 'kill them with kindness'?"

"Well, yeah," said Ginerva, three seats over from Leslie. They'd been placed in the same teaching group due to similar work schedules. "It means to, er, annoy someone by being nice to them."

"Yes, and why might it annoy them?"

Ginerva shrugged. Someone at the back coughed loudly.

"'Cause it shows ya can't be easily provoked," said Angel Dust, "right? Turnin' the otha cheek. I mean, yeah, that's annoyin'. Makes ya seem like a sanctimonious shit."

"OK, well, we can debate the usefulness of this," Vaggie said fairly. "I'll concede that in Hell, trying to come off as 'the better person' seems fruitless, right?" The group agreed. "But it could still resolve conflicts - like, if the other person gives up in confusion, or disgust." She turned her gaze to the back of the room, frowning. "Something the matter, Kain?"

Kain's voice was unusually strained. "I've got a fucking rash or something."

The group turned to look at him, including Leslie, and he was sitting in one of the middle rows with the sleeves of his leather jacket rolled up, scratching furiously. He looked even bluer in the face than usual, with a fine mist of perspiration on his brow.

Vaggie strolled over to inspect. She saw the raised blisters that covered his arms.

"Oh shit," she said. "That looks like hellpox." She jumped back. "You're contagious. Everyone, other side of the room, quick."

No-one had to be told twice; most got up at the word 'contagious'.

"What the fuck is hellpox?" Kain exclaimed, and coughed again. "Is this a fucking joke?"

"No, it's not," said Vaggie from a safe distance. "You're going to have that rash for a few days, and a fever if you haven't already. You should go to your room. Uh..." She deliberated, looking at the class. "You guys too. We need to find out who's infected before we do anything else."

"Wait, what?" Angel Dust cried. "There's a hotel plague goin' around now?"

"Fuck that, man! I'm not getting sick!"

Leslie joined her group in vacating the room, notebook under her arm. She hadn't known there were diseases in Hell; and wouldn't the demonic healing factor take care of them anyway?

"Not so much," Angel said when she asked. "I mean, STIs are a thing, so..."

"They are?!"

"Yeah! Part'a the eternal torment package," he said. "FYI, my boss has herpes. Don't ask me how I know that."

"Oh, Jesus Christ."

Vaggie convened with Charlie in the hallway, and the two did their best to corral nearby demons for further instructions. They'd email a list of symptoms to each guest; anyone who showed signs of the virus was told to notify staff.