Rabbit Blood

Chapter 27 - Attraction And Repulsion

Leslie approached Angel Dust the next morning, right outside his room. Angel looked like he'd had four hours of sleep, and that was a generous estimation.

"Has Val ever sent you compromising photographs?" she asked outright.

His visage darkened so much and so fast that Leslie took a fearful step back. "I should fuckin' slap ya for sayin' that," he said. "Jesus Christ, Les, it's seven in the mornin'. I am NOT in the mood."

Too late, Leslie realized how insensitive she sounded and backpedaled furiously. "No, no, I swear it's not...! I'm trying to help you! Look, I heard your argument in the lobby, and I was up all night trying to think of a plan."

Angel Dust shoved his way past her, unimpressed, trying to smack some life into his own face.

"You said Lucifer wouldn't go after Val because the porn thing is such a key industry," Leslie said hurriedly as they walked toward the stairs, "and maybe you're right, and that's terrible... but if he thought Val was harassing Charlie, he'd want to shove a cane up his ass alright."

Angel stopped walking. "Wait, how... what?"

"The hard bit will be stealing Charlie's phone," she said, "but you're a lock-picker. You can grab it off the nightstand while she's asleep, and I can do an impression of Charlie over the phone. After that, we just need to make the harassment story convincing. So, like, has Val ever sent you dick pics, that kind of thing?"

"Course he fuckin' has!" Angel cried, "but I didn't screenshot 'em! They had no sentimental value."

"OK, as long as we can give a description-"

"Les, no!" He spun, looming down to grasp her shoulders. "Fuckin' stop this. First of all, Charlie's gotta lock screen, and we don't know the code. Second, ya think Lucifer is gonna be fooled by an impersonation'a his kid? No fuckin' way. It's a stupid plan. 'Specially with your accent."

"I don't have-"

"Say 'Florida'."

"Florida. What? I don't... what was wrong with that?"

"Ya don't hear that?"

Leslie sighed. "I can be Charlie... I just need some practice. This is the best plan I could come up with."

They descended the stairs, both on foot. Leslie didn't feel like using the banister this time.

"Fuckin'... Look, I appreciate it, but it ain't gonna work. My problem's bigger'n both of us. I'm pretty much a slave by contract. Plus, Val can get nasty. One time I said somethin' he didn't like. Know what he did? Got one'a his cronies ta knock me out, tie me up on an X-frame in the dungeon, an' then feed me magnets a day apart." He clapped his hands together to simulate the magnets meeting inside his body, and Leslie's mouth fell open.

"That's horrible!"

"Yeah, well, you're the one that wants ta talk about it. And he'll do it to you if ya piss him off."

He shrugged and stomped to the dining room, as Leslie tried to imagine the damage two swallowed magnets could wreak. Could it kill someone? Would they need surgery to remove them? What kind of monster could conceive of such a punishment?

She shook her head and walked aimlessly away. There had to be something. Surely she could think of something... God damn it, she wished she had more brains.

o - o - o - o - o

Leslie began to keep to herself outside of work hours (which included the dancing these days), thinking through her plan to call Lucifer, for it was still the best plan she had. What could the code be for unlocking Charlie's phone? Perhaps Vaggie's birthday, or their anniversary date. These were both things she could try to ask Charlie, in some inconspicuous way. As she turned things over in her head, Leslie avoided the Radio Demon. Since learning of Angel's plight, her continuing to tryst with Alastor felt somehow wrong, whether it was her idea or not.