Chapter 8
"They're coming!" one of the knights keeping watch shouted for everyone to hear as he ran into the camp to warn them.
It was only dawning and most of the men were still deeply asleep. Arthur immediately awoke at the shouting, always alert even when sleeping, and the first thing he noticed was how he had Merlin's hand in his and resting on his chest, so he swiftly let go of it before anyone could see and stood up, focusing in much more important matters.
"How far are they?" he asked the knight as Merlin started putting their bedrolls away and everyone in the camp moved swiftly to get ready.
"They still are a few miles away, it's lucky we are on this elevated area so we could see them from a distance. I'd say we still have half an hour, more or less" the knight explained, panting from the running.
"How many of them do you think there are?"
"I can't tell, but I'd say we may outnumber them" the knight answered, hopefully.
"And if they are not expecting us here, the element of surprise is in our favour. We are at good odds to be victorious" Arthur mumbled, more to himself than to the men in front of him. "Everybody ready!" he announced in a much loud voice. "We'll wait for them here, where we are hidden to their eyes, and surprise them. Get the horses ready and let's hope luck is on our side today!"
Arthur felt every beat of his heart, so hard it was pounding, and he searched for Melin with his eyes, asking for his approval. When he found him, Merlin immediately guessed Arthur's apprehension and nodded at him in absolute trust. Arthur didn't need to see how afraid Merlin was really feeling.
It didn't take them too long to get ready, so the knights started mounting their horses and getting in combat formation, waiting for the moment when they would gallop downhill and surprise the ignorant army coming towards them.
Just as Merlin was about to mount his own horse, he felt a hand gently grabbing his arm to stop him. When he turned around, he met a pair of eyes full of worry and love, and he knew Arthur was going to tell him something he was not going to like.
"Merlin, when we ride to meet them..." Arthur mumbled, knowing how his words were not going to be well received. "I want you to stay here"
"No, Arthur, that's not..." Merlin started to protest, but he lost the ability to talk when Arthur's index finger found its way to Merlin's lips to shush him in an impossibly loving gesture.
"Merlin, please. I can't be worrying about you, you have to understand" Arthur looked so distressed, so desperate, that Merlin almost didn't have the heart to contradict him.
"But I want to help you" Merlin whispered, imploring.
"Please, Merlin, I'm begging you. Stay here, where I know you're safe" Arthur begged, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
Merlin was about to protest again but then he looked straight at Arthur's eyes and saw a fear and a desperation in them he didn't know how to respond to. He knew those feelings were directed at him, not at Arthur's own well-being, and he knew he couldn't be an extra burden in Arthur's heart while he had to concentrate on leading his army towards victory and staying alive in the process.
But Merlin also knew he couldn't stay and watch everything from a distance. If he stayed behind and something happened to Arthur, he would never forgive himself knowing he could have saved him with his magic. Maybe... maybe it was time to tell Arthur about his real self.
He had never pictured the moment of his revelation like this. He had always thought he would pick better times, when Arthur was content and calm because Camelot would be a prosperous and peaceful kingdom and they would be happy together, even ready to let the world know about them. Then Merlin would tell him about his big secret and hope Arthur would accept it in time.
