Arnav... I'm Arnav

Part 1: Arnav's thoughts

Arnav's POV

Who am I?
Do I have any identity in this big world?
Is there any single person whom I can call my own?

The answer is a big fat no.

I have no one. Then what am I doing among this people here? Everyone is happy in their life but what about me?

I've become a bad omen for all the people who are living around me. They think I'm cursing their happiness.

According to them I am a wicked person who only brings misery and wickedness into everyone's life. I should leave from here. Already I have done many bad things in the lives of everyone who was once dear to me. They are still dear to me but I'm no longer dear to them. So, for their happiness I have to leave as soon as possible.

Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself.. I know... I know... I'm talking to myself. So, what's the point of introducing myself? But still I am going to do it. In fact I'm practicing how to speak normally with people.
Here no one talks to me and I also don't try to talk to anyone.
So, I forgot how to communicate with others normally.

Nowadays, whenever I try to speak, I get scared when I hear my own voice. So what do you think might have happened to the person I tried to talk to?  I could not even find his shadow anywhere around me for a few days.They are afraid of me.

That's why, I'm practicing with myself. since I want to get out of here, I have to move to a new place and in that new place I have to communicate with new people to find a job to survive in this cruel world.

Now come to the main point.
I'm Arnav. Only Arnav. I don't have a surname now, but in my past I had one. At that time I was very proud of my name. Whenever I was asked to introduce myself in front of someone I used to do that with attitude and with my signature smirk. I used to introduce myself as ASR . Many boys who were of  my age thought that style of mine was very rude but I cared less. And now I'm no longer any mighty ASR. So now those boys are making fun of my previous attitude on my back. Sometimes I fought with them and sometimes I said nothing and behave like I heard nothing. Actually It depends on my mood.

How I became Arnav from ASR is a long story. I'll talk about it later. Now let me tell you about myself. I'm a seventeen year old teenager.

Whenever you heard this age seventeen or eighteen what your mind shows you. Your mind shows you a picture of a lively and cheerful teenager..

Even your mind reminds you of the days of your own colorful teen life. At that time you had invited every unknown feeling, an unknown future, even the unknown fears with open arms without any hesitation. In one corner of your heart you had a little fear because  of all these unknown and things, but nothing could stop you from moving forward at that time.

But as a seventeen year old boy I'm completely different. In this last three years a lot of things happened with me. I've been through a lot of situations that all of you can not even imagine. And all these circumstances have completely changed me. I'm no longer that cheerful boy who used to live his life happily. Now I am just a body that is breathing but not enjoying its life.

So far I've come a long way and now I think I'm not a seventeen-year-old teenager, but a hundred-year-old oldman living alone and Anxiously waiting for death but death is also angry with me and not coming to me.

If I want to, I can take my life in a few minutes, but I can't because I promised my dad. I saw my dad breaking down when his best friend committed suicide. At that time, my father took promise from me that I would never think of suicide, no matter how much I sufferer in life. So for that promise I have to live this life. Not for me, but for my father.

I've nothing to do other than waiting for death. But now I can't live like this. I want to free myself from this invisible cage. And now I know how to free myself. I have to leave this place. I know it will be very hard for me to leave this place which is full of memories of my  Dad. But I have to do this and I'll definitely leave this place.. Now there is no one who can stop me from leaving this place.

( Do you readers also think that there is no one to stop him ?)

                                                      

Precap: "An unknown pull"

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Today's update is just about Arnav and also short. If you find it boring then sorry readers...
But you'll definitely find Khushi in the next update.

Thanks for reading..😘😘

Do votes and comments...

10.07.2020
-PRO💗💗