You see there's this thing about pain, it makes you feel hollow, meaningless and empty
Not physical pain but that pain that is uniquely designed to scrape everything from your soul even your heart
A minute news is enough to shatter 23 years of happiness and you can do nothing, that's just the reality, the hands of the clock is not something you can manipulate so accepting your reality is the only option you have, no it's not even an option, it's compulsory.
It's been four weeks and for Jidda it felt like an hour, all she does is cry herself to sleep and cook food that she can't even eat, because she has to keep her end of the bargain
She avoids Imran like a plague, because he knows her ordeal and the last thing she wants is his pity so she serves dinner before he's back from work then leave to her room, in the early hands of the morning clock to make sure breakfast ready
The last time they met is the second day after she was discharged from the hospital, she wanted so bad to run away, to run far from the city, the memories, the moments but Imran caught her in the act right when she was about to sneak out of the house
"Running away, is that what you do best?" He asked moving close to her, she honestly has no answer for him, she doesn't want to stay here even Imran reminds of the people that she once regarded as family because if not for this marriage maybe the secret would have been buried
"I have nothing more here, my whole life has been a sham, a child's play, I want to start afresh"
Her voice comes out as flat as it can amidst tears, her eyes are red from tears, her nose too
"How do you want to start over?" Imran interrogate
This is my life she wanted to say but she decided against it
New tears flow, she didn't bother pushing them back because it hurts so much inside she need to let it out, it hurts more than when Hajiya will burn her books or call her names, its a new pang of pain that she have never experienced, so she combust, she knelt on the hard interlocked floor and cry, what hurts her more is the fact that Alhaji Bubakar also lied to her, she looked so up to him, all her life all she wanted was to make him the proudest father in the history of the earth, but he was not even her biological father
Imran raised her up and engulf her in a pacifying hug and for a minute she felt relieved, she felt safe
She didn't know how he managed to convince her to stay but he did
A beef on her phone brought her out of her thoughts, the caller is an unknown number, she hesitated before finally picking
"Jidda?" The voice on the other hand asked and immediately she recognized it, she clicked the red button and switch off the phone, she knows she will come around eventually but for now she's not ready to talk to anyone not even Baba, his voice only brought back the agony she has been able to fight for an entire month.
~
The clouds looks beautiful today, it wore darker shade of blue and some touch of white the cloud carry, it looks beautiful, perfect, everything looks perfect except her life of course
She took the surrounding of the big house she now lives in due to the marriage she walked into only because of her family
It's more than a decent house, it's unnecessarily big for two people, even the plants in this house is unnecessarily too much, but of course if you have money your sense of reasoning fades away
There was a persistent honk at the gate and the gate man rushed to the gate to open it, Imran's car peaked through the gate, she wanted to crawl inside quickly but she was sure he saw her already so she tried to avoid embarrassing herself futher
"What's going on" he asked when he moved closer to her, he was surprised, he have never seen her outside the out, in-fact not even inside the house
"Why? What happened? She tried to act neutral
"You have been avoiding me and now you are out here like an idle wife waiting for her husband" now he taunts her
She laughed softly for the first time in a month she collected his laptop bag from his shoulder
"Welcome my husband" she patted his back
He was shocked by this action of hers, what's going on in her little head he asked, but what ever it is he likes it, even though it reminded him of his ex wife, how she'll wait for him by the door, collect his bag and hug him tight telling him how much she missed him
He followed her inside the house and his nose was hit by the awesome smell of wood incense
