Skye City: The Darkness of Emmilyn

Sleepless

Late at night I cannot sleep due to the body heat, the heavy breathing, the lack of space, the creeping anxiety so I sit upright on the bottom bunk as my little brother sleeps beside me. A dim red light on the ceiling is the only thing preventing blackness due to the lack of cabin windows. Reaching for the door handle, I carefully step over Vytali and leave our oven of a bedroom, heading for the winding staircase. In the dimness I climb a couple of floors and follow the narrow passage to Nelson's cabin, knocking at the door and hoping for an answer which might not come.

'Hey I can't sleep,' I whisper as Nelson finally opens up, puffy eyed and I have no idea what the time is now. Nelson sits on the bottom bunk, wearing shorts and a vest as his roommate Adi sleeps above him.

'You wanna come inside?' Nelson says.

'Nah it's nice and cool out here.' I sit on the cold rubbery floor with my arms around my shins, sighing. The lights in the corridor are shining at a fraction of full strength, meaning my boyfriend is only half-visible in his cabin.

'I saw you earlier, taking chicken from the plate.' I fix Nelson's sleepy gaze and lower my voice. 'I assume you're out of money.'

'Not quite, but it's getting tight,' Nelson whispers and looks at the floor, seemingly ashamed, but he is talking to a bottom-leveller who has raided SuperMart bins for food. He hardly has to feel ashamed around me, but he should feel a need to be open and honest.

'But you've been buying beer?' I say.

'I've had like one or two beers,' Nelson says and I raise an eyebrow because someone is clearly bad at counting.

'What were you planning on doing? The journey to Larunya will last weeks,' I say like our gang has never prioritised alcohol over food. Sometimes emotional turmoil can create a hunger which is even stronger than malnutrition and only damaging behaviour can quell such hunger.

'I wasn't really thinking about that. I just needed to get on board, even if that meant going hungry,' Nelson says.

'You don't have to go hungry. I have plenty of money now. I'll buy you breakfast in the morning,' I say and Nelson frowns, pulling his head back like his pride is being wounded.

'I can't be depending on you.'

'So which do you prefer, theft or starvation?' I say and Nelson goes to speak but hesitates. 'Look, I assume your friends are getting hungry. I think I can manage to buy them breakfast too. No taking food before the next stop off, okay? You don't wanna be asked to leave the airship.'

'Fair enough,' Nelson says. 'It was hard enough getting out the damn warzone. I don't wanna risk being sent back into it.'

'Do you have anyone still out there? Missing friends?' I say, almost regretting the question after our conversation about the bodies in the snow at the destroyed base. And then there are Nelson's parents who were imprisoned. We have no idea if they are still alive, but if they are, shit, what is happening to prisoners right now? Keeping them alive is hardly going to be a priority for San Teria. Best not mention any of this though...

'Well, I still have some buddies fighting for the Rebellion, if that's what you mean,' Nelson says.

'Yeah, that's what I mean... And they didn't wanna come to Larunya?' I say.

'Didn't dare ask. If we'd gone around trying to persuade more to leave, it could've led to complications,' Nelson says, leaving me to wonder how anyone risked having this conversation at all. Telling the wrong person could have alerted their superiors, meaning every deserter must be trustworthy.

'So how many fled in total?' I say.

'From my group, over twenty, but there were a couple of smaller groups. There must be at least forty of us onboard,' Nelson says.

'The Rebellion must be mad to have lost so many soldiers in one day. Imagine their reaction,' I say.

'If we were blown up on the battlefield, they wouldn't have batted an eyelid,' Nelson says.

'Well, that's true about some, but my mother insists there are many good guys among them. You must know that, you were one of them,' I say.

'Yeah, but it doesn't change what I just said. They lose way more than forty soldiers every single day and act like things are going well,' Nelson says.

'Fair enough, I suppose.' I pause, reflecting on those unfortunate souls we left in the makeshift morgue who would surely be rooting for our survival so their sacrifice was not in vain. 'When this is all over, do you think there will be a world left? I mean one worth living in?'

'We've never had a world worth living in,' Nelson says.

'Fair point, but what about the radiation? Will the air be safe to breathe? Or will we have to build bunkers? Use gasmasks? Will anywhere be habitable within our lifetimes?' I say, thinking about how we are dealing with the after-effects of the Dust War and the Great War and this new war might be a step too far for this forsaken planet. We could be facing extinction at the third attempt.

'If anywhere will be habitable, it'll be Larunya. Funny to think it's always been considered the least habitable place on Eryx and now people are in a rush to get there.' Nelson almost laughs.

'What do you think it'll be like? Do you think we'll be able to have fun or just endlessly struggle?' I say.

'People always find a way to have fun. The struggle doesn't stop that, it just wears you down a little, makes you tired, but if you're strong you make it. And we've already proven we're strong,' Nelson says.

'Well, I suppose this crap hasn't quite broken us... Strange to think I was almost in a comfort zone in the slums. As challenging as our days were, I knew what I needed to do. In a land which is completely unfamiliar, I won't know anything. I'll be like a baby learning to walk again. That's pretty daunting,' I say.

'But it could provide an opportunity for a new way of living. Maybe we'll go to living the old way. Anguson sounded like he was joking, but I think it'll be good to build our own homes, live off the land, somewhere nice and secluded where there's no one to bother us. No rules, just us.'

'It seems so weird to be leaving all we know. Do you think we'll ever return?' I say.

'I'm really not sure,' Nelson says.