𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸 𝐼𝑆 𝑃𝑂𝐼𝑆𝑂𝑁 .

26 .

                                  Ja'kai Dior 🦋🤍.

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"So , bae ." I said kicking his head . He looked back at me and mugged me .

"Huh ?"

"I think Santana or one of his folks killed my mama ." I said playing with my nails .

"Me too , I got it tho . How you feel ?"

"I don't know how to feel . I mean me and her weren't on good terms , she wasn't in her right state of mind . I was going to actually talk to her , but s-she was gone before I could . Yea in the past months she's made some bad decisions but now that she's gone it's like.....i know my mama would have realized what she was doing and making us feel and would have tried to fix it . I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her or anything . She's pissed me off but that's still my mama . She was all I knew before my dad came back into the picture . We don't have no family . So now that my mama gone it's just me and Londyn . I wanted my mama to be here when I have my first child or when I get married . I wanted her to be here to see me move in my first home . I know she's always talked about seeing Londyn graduate a-and now it's all gone . She was still young . I take back everything wrong I've done because in the blink of an eye my mama is gone . I worry about Londyn a lot too . She's so young and somethings she will never get to experience . Nothing may never feel normal to her again . I know my mama hurt her feelings but that's still her mama . She hasn't got to experience everything a mother and daughter should . I'm going to try my best and be strong for Londyn but it's certain spots I can't fill in . There's always going to be someone who wants to know " what happened to your mom " and I don't want that for her . Londyn has been through so much shit in just this year . Her daddy molested her and will never see her again . Now her mama is gone . I just hate it all . I would never wish this shit on my worst enemy . I feel like if I wouldn't have left the house , she would still be here . I-I just miss my mama ." I cried .

Jamari came and put me in his lap and rocked me back and forth .

"It's not your fault though ja'kai . If you would have been there , they could've killed all yaal . But I promise i gotchu , what you need . Londyn straight. I know both of yaal gon hurt but you know yo mama wouldn't want you sad forever . Before all this shit went down your mama and took me and jayda in without even knowing me fully . Yo mama was a great woman , beyond this shit . "

I just nodded my head and grabbed my phone .

ja.kai

*swipe*