The Ghost Of Us (HWGA sequel)

Forgive and Forget

2 hours and 3 minutes. That is the amount of sleep I got Sunday night. So my Monday morning was as you could imagine, horrible.
I was sauntering around the house getting ready for school, which I dreaded.
I also would be facing Sam today, after a weekend of ignoring him, I would finally have to speak to him, at least tell him what he did wrong... which was a lot. I literally had over 20 messages from him that I didn't answer. But guess I'll deal with it today.

I step outside and the sun burns my eyes making me groan. Andrew offered me a ride today and I took that because I didn't want to walk.
I trudge over to his car and get in.
"Morning," he says. "I didn't say good, because it doesn't look like that."
"Hmm," I mumble. "Definitely not a good one," I said.
"You okay?" He asks and I buckle my seatbelt and rub my eyes.
"Just tired," I tell him. "Barely slept."
"Want coffee?" He asks. "We can go through a drive-through or something real quick."
"Yes please," I nod. "I feel dead."
"You look it too," he adds and I look at him and he laughs. "You literally look like the kid from Meets the Robinsons," he says and that makes me laugh.
"When do I not?" I ask and he laughs with me.

We grab coffee from a Starbucks drive-thru and then head to school and as we approached the school I felt weird. I was scared to talk to Sam. We... we like never fight, when we do it's minor and right now I'm actually mad at him. I don't know what he'll say and it freaks me out.
I get out of the car slowly and stare at the school with a scowl.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asks.
"Yeah," I sigh. "I just gotta... I'm gonna see Sam," I glance at him.
"Ah," he nods. "You guys still haven't talked," he says and I nod.
"We have to," I say.
"It'll be fine Jo," he reassures. "What's the worst that can happen? You guys argue," he shrugs. "Let's go," he nudges me and I sigh and follow him toward the school.
I keep my eye out for Austin. I haven't seen him over the weekend and I want to.
When we walk inside I notice Austin at his locker.
"See you?" I look at Andrew and he nods. "Thanks for the ride."
"That's what she said," he laughs and I push him. "Bye," he says and we go our own ways. I go to Austin's locker.
"Hey!" I nudge him and he turns.
"Hey, bitch!" He smiles. "It's been 2 days and it feels like I haven't seen you in years," he said and I laugh.
"I know," I nod.
"You got Starbucks without me?" He asks.
"Sorry, Andrew got it for me because I barely slept last night," I retort. "Was in a bad mood this morning."
"You and Andrew are close now?" He asks.
"Getting closer," I admit.
"You better not ditch me," he half-jokes half says.
"Never!!" I shake my head.
"Where's Sam?" He asks.
"I don't know," I sigh leaning against the lockers. "We need to talk."
"Talk!?" He asks.
"Yeah..." I drift. "We got into a little fight because of Friday," I say.
I didn't tell Austin because I didn't want to blow this out of proportion right now. I don't like having all my issues on display.
"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" He asks. "What happened!?"
"Nothing, he was just being annoying and sorry for not telling you, I was just gathering myself," I said and he nods.
"Well, I see him over there," he points out and I turn to see him leaning against his locker and Caleb was talking to him, he didn't seem interested in whatever he was saying.
"Yeah..." I drift. "I'm gonna go put my stuff away," I add and he nods. "See you later."
"See ya!" He grins and I head to my locker.

I didn't know how to go to Sam and talk to him.
I put my stuff away and grab the books I need from my locker.
"Hey," I hear and turn to see Sam next to me. He looked almost as tired as I did and his hair was messy. He licks his lips before talking again. "We gotta talk..." he says and I shut my locker and take in a deep breath.
"Yeah... we really do," I nod. He leans against the locker next to mine and sighs.
"I'm really sorry," he mumbles looking down at his shoes. "I know, that's just a lame apology, but I am," he says. "This weakened without you was so hard," he adds shaking his head. "I'm sorry."
"A bummer... the "boring one" you know... it's not a great feeling when your boyfriend says that to you," I cross my arms and he sighs shutting his eyes for a second.
  "I know," he nods. "I know, and I hate myself for saying that stuff Jo..." he drifts off. "I'm sorry! I was drunk and being stupid."
  "I'm not giving you the excuse of you being drunk," I shake my head. "You really made me feel like shit Sam," I tell him. "What even was that?" I ask.
  "I don't know..." he says. "I... I was drunk and didn't think," he remarks. "I know it's not an excuse, but clearly I was just being a dick."
  "Yeah, a big dick," I nod. "It sucks to know that your boyfriend thinks you're boring!"
  "I don't think you're boring Jo!!" He says looking at me. "I don't at all, you're the best to be around. I just drank... like a lot," he says.
  "I know," I say.
  "And I'm sorry," he says. "Like I will apologize forever Jo," he says. "I literally spent this weekend regretting everything. It has been the worst couple of days of my life with you ignoring me," he steps closer and I keep my arms crossed. "Babe..." he says quietly. "On Friday... I was just sad, and I felt...." he sighs. "I felt like maybe drinking would help me feel different," he looks to the side shaking his head. "It just made things worse with us, and I'm sorry. I was stupid, I was so stupid and I love you..." he says, of course, he as trying to help with his dad's situation. "I love you Jo, and it was so hard not to get a reply from you... and it just hit me so hard that I'm a dumb-ass and I'm so fucking sorry," he merely whines.
I stay silent and he looks at me and then the floor running a hand through his hair.
  "Say something?" He asks. "Please..." he adds. "I can't lose you after this... will I?" He asks and I sigh looking at him.
I told him I would be there even when it gets tough. I promised him.
  "No sam," I said finally. "You're not gonna lose me," I mumble. "I was just really mad," I tell him. "I am really mad."
  "I know! You deserve to be," he nods. "I didn't mean it... I really didn't. You know how much I love being with you and how great you are Jo!" He says and I nod. "I was being a dick for no reason."
  "Yeah," I say feeling myself forgiving him. He's going through a tough time, and yes... it hurt, what he did hurt. But I love him... and I know he loves me and he is sorry... I can tell. I promised him.
  "I'm sorry..." he says in a whisper. "This weekend made me feel like I lost you like you weren't there and I hated it, Jo... I fucking hated it," he shakes his head. "I'm sorry," he says.
  "It's okay," I mumble. "I forgive you," I add. "Just don't be a dick," I tell him pushing him and he nods.
  "I know! I'm so sorry," he says. "I love you," he adds and reaches his hand out and grabs my arm and pulls it out of the crossed position to grab my hand. "God, that was the worst weekend of my entire life, I'm not kidding," he says pulling me into a hug and it felt nice to be talking to him again. "Please tell me you love me," he says and I sigh.
  "I love you, you idiot," I tell him and he squeezes me.
  "I missed you," he says. "Never... ever again!" He groans and pulls back slightly to look down at me. "I'm sorry," he says and leans down kissing my lips and it felt like it's been a long time since we last kissed.

The school bell interrupts the whole moment and I push him back.
  "We should go to class," I tell him. "I'll see you later? I can't be fully okay with you!" I add and he laughs.
  "Okay," he nods. "Love you," he says again.
  "Love you, bye," I turn around feeling way more confident about our conversation that I expected.
I know he's being genuine, and it was Sam... one mishap I can push past! It'll be fine... right!?

~

I walk into my house with Sam behind me. We just got back from school, and Sam asked if he could come over.
I drop my bag on the couch and turn to Sam.
  "I'm just gonna change, you obviously know where everything is," I tell him and he nods.
I head upstairs and to my room, I change into some sweatpants and a baggy shirt for comfort. I head back downstairs and Sam was sitting on the couch, typing on his phone. I sit down and grab the remote turning the tv on.
  "So..." Sam says and pulls my legs up onto his lap. He shoved his phone into his pocket and looks at me. "I just want to make it clear that I'm sorry," he says and I sigh.
  "Sam, I told you it's fine!" I tell him. "I swear, you don't have to keep bringing it up," I said and he nods.
  "I know, I just don't want you to be mad at me," he sighs pulling me down so I'm laying on the couch and he lays half next to me, half on me, his head on my chest.
  "I'm not," I run a hand through his hair. "What should we watch?" I ask changing the subject. I didn't want to be stuck on the fact that I was mad at him and what he did.
  "I don't care," he replies as I go through Netflix.
  "I'm just gonna put on The Office," I tell him.
  "Okay," he nods and I press continue on the episode I was on. I put the remote to the side and start playing with Sam's hair.
  "Can I sleep over tonight?" He asks his voice quiet.
  "Yeah," I say.
  "Thanks," he mumbles.
  "How's Dani was your mom?" I ask.
  "Good," he shrugs. "Always home, but I don't like being there..." he drifts.
  "Yeah," I nod.
I know he finds it hard to stay at his place because of his dad so I just let him sleep here. I was being helpful, and I felt bad. I know our fight was still new, but I still felt bad because of his dad and I love him. I have to be here for him when it's hard. I know he would be here for me too.
He chuckles at something Dwight says and I look at the tv, coming back to reality. I sigh, ignoring my thoughts and just watching the show.