The Ghost Of Us (HWGA sequel)

Subway

I was on the subway. For some reason.. this is where I decided to go when I skipped school today. I just wanted to get away.
So far I haven't gotten away anywhere really... I've just been sitting on the subway, going to random places. I didn't know what else to do and honestly this was soothing. I had my music playing in my earphones, and I was watching the subway walls fly by from the window. I felt like I was in a movie.
The sad teen... running away because life is hard and her boyfriend's... ex boyfriend's a dick. How fun!
I roll my eyes at myself and kick my feet up on the seat across from me. I just wanted to be in a whole other universe. I had so many emotions... that I was confused of them. I didn't know what to feel.
My phone buzzes in my hand and I look down to see that Andrew texted me.

ANDREW: Hey... where are you?
ANDREW: did you want to meet somewhere else today?

He was probably on his spare now. I felt bad leaving without telling anyone. But it had to be done. I almost didn't want to reply but I felt too bad not to.

ME: not there today

He replied within seconds.

ANDREW: I saw you walk in this morning! Couldn't say hi cause I got pulled away but... I swear I saw you!

ME: I decided to leave
ME: really tired and wasn't feeling it

ANDREW: oh.. okay!
ANDREW: you good?

ME: Yup!

Lies, lies, lies, lies. All I'm doing is lying. If only I was really good, and I didn't have to lie. But fucking SAM!! Ruined that.

ANDREW: I'm gonna have to sit alone like a loser.. thanks haha

I put my phone down... I didn't want to be on my phone anymore. I just wanted to throw it.

~

My phone was blowing up with Austin, he asked me why I wasn't there, if I was okay.. and he was going on and on about me not being in school.
So I just told him I'm okay, that I'm home unwell and that I was going to take a nap.
More lies. Soon I'll be starting to lie to myself about how I'm feeling. Maybe it'll trick me, and I will be okay. I wish.
I've been on the subway the whole day... I was glued to my seat. People went in and out, and I just kept staying here.
Maybe this will be my new place to think. It didn't remind me of anyone, and it was peaceful. As peaceful as it can get with my headphones in. At least I haven't seen a fight break out, or someone get robbed. It is New York, still gonna watch out.

Someone takes a seat next to me, and I immediately felt uncomfortable because I knew there were many spare seats around. I turn to look at the person and I see Andrew. I stare at him confused and pull out my earphone.
"Where did you come from?" I ask.
"The subway platform," he points to the door and more people pile in.
"How did you know I was here?" I ask and he looks at me, his dark eyes bore into mine as if he could read me like a book.
"I remember you telling me once, that you wish you could run away on a train," he tells me. "The closest thing to a train here, is the subway," he adds. "And you weren't home, or anywhere I checked. So I made a lucky guess that you were here. Turns out I was right," he grins.
"You didn't have to go looking for me Andrew. I wanted to be alone," I mumble. I don't know if I sounded rude, and I hope I didn't. But I just didn't feel like any social interaction. I hated the world right now.
"I know you did," he says. "But I also know that, you shouldn't be alone," he adds.
"What does that mean?" I ask. "Everyone should be alone. Actually, not should be. Everyone is alone," I remark.
"Okay don't go all emo on me bud," he chuckles and I just shrug looking ahead of me. "Jo, look. I know you're sad and you think being alone is the only best option. But it isn't. You need to talk to someone. You never talk, you just bottle everything up and act like it's okay, even though it really isn't!" He tells me and I glance at him. "You've been through a shit ton of things, and I'm surprised you haven't broken down completely on everyone."
"Because I'm fine," I retort and he looks at me and told his eyes.
"Don't pull that shit on me," he says. "I'm serious."
"What do you want me to say Andre?" I ask. "Talking about my very sad life is not really fun for me or you!"
"No one said it was fun," he shrugs. "But it's normal, and it's healthy to talk about your shitty life," he says. "Or else, you're never gonna get better!"
"What are you? Some sort of therapist?" I scoff.
"I know you're just being rude to push me away and I'm not gonna let you do that," he says and I look at him again.
"Why do you care so much?" I ask.
"You're my best friend," he says. "Why wouldn't I care?"
I felt tears prickle my eyes, and I didn't want to cry, not right now. I just want to be alone, in the subway and listening to my music.
"Listen Jo," he sighs. "If you're not comfortable talking to me about anything. That's fine! But at least talk to someone like Austin. He's worried about you, and so am I. We just want you to be okay," he tells me.
I turn the minute a tear falls down my cheek. How embarrassing is this? Crying in public, and to Andrew. Poor guy has to always deal with my shit.
"I'm not uncomfortable talking to you," I mumble, trying hard so my voice doesn't crack and I don't break down right here. "I just don't want to be a bother to anyone. I know that me constantly talking about my boyfriend trouble is annoying," I admit.
"I don't find it annoying," he says, his tone was soft and low, so no one else could hear us around the subway. "Nothing you do annoys me Jo. Nothing you say bothers me, so that's not something you should worry about," he tells me and I felt more tears coming along. "I'm literally begging you to head your problems, I wouldn't be doing that if I didn't want to hear them, or if I found you or your issues annoying," he says. "You know me, I can be brutally honest, and you already know my thoughts on Sam and what he's done. There's nothing that'll bother me. I want to know and I want fo help you!"
Why did he have to be so nice! Why!? Why couldn't Sam go back to this and be this nice.
"I'm gonna cry," I admit taking in a shaky breath as more tears well in my eyes and they were on the precipice of falling out.
"That's okay," he says. "Crying is fun."
"Shut up," I let out a struggled laugh.
"I could start crying too if it'll make you more comfortable," he says and I look at him again.
"You're so annoying," I say and the tears start spilling out of my eyes like a fountain, and I couldn't control them. This was embarrassing. We were on a public subway and there were people around as I balled my eyes out. Yeah... we live in New York, I'm sure it's nothing they haven't seen. But still!
"Hey, it's okay," Andrew scoots closer to me, putting an arm around me and bringing me into him co I could cry. I could feel my tears soak through his shirt as I sobbed onto his shoulder. He runs a rooting hand up and down my arm.
"You're such a good friend," I cry out.
"I'm a normal human being," he replies.
"Clearly not," I sob. "Look at Sam! I thought he was normal, and he was an asshole," I say. "A fucking asshole, that I can't seem to stop loving!"
"It's not that easy," he mumbles.
"Why isn't it!?" I ask. "Why can't it be? I want to hate him so bad Andrew. I just can't. I'm so mad, and I'm so fucking sad that he said those things to me. All those things when I was trying to be a good girlfriend, a supportive girlfriend. But it all meant nothing to him," I grumble pulling away from him and he look down at me. I was probably all swollen from the tears that were still spilling out of my eyes.
"It didn't mean nothing to him," Andrew says. "I'm sure it meant a lot to him Jo. He's just an idiot."
"How do you call your girlfriend a bummer, a slut! He told me be to classier, even after he told me I was a downer and a bummer!" I shake my head.
"I don't get it either... I really don't," he says. "But, Sam is going through a lot. That's not an excuse for his disgusting behaviour. But it's the truth. And that doesn't mean he doesn't love you," he said.
"He can love me all he wants. But he clearly has some issues with me," I say.
"Or he's just trying to be cool," he says. "In front of his new friends. Trying to fit in."
"He was never like that though!" I said. "Never! That's why I liked him in the first place."
"People change," he shrugs. "It's sad, but it's true."
"I hate him," I cry. "So bad."
He pulls me into him again as I start to cry more. I felt comfortable in his arms, I haven't felt comfortable anywhere in a long time, but I felt so comfortable here with Andrew. He really was an amazing friend.

Andrew let me cry for another hour on the subway. Without saying a word, he let me cry and cry. I feel like I finally let out all my tears. It was nice to just let go like that.
"Thanks for everything today," I say as he stops the car in front of my house.
"Don't thank me," he says with a light shrug.
"I literally cried through your whole shirt. I think you deserve a thanks," I let out a small laugh and he chuckles.
"If anything, I don't have to take a shower when I get home," he shrugs and I laugh shaking my head.
"Really though Andrew," I say. "Thanks a lot."
"Yeah," he nods. "Anytime Jo. You don't have to thank me for being a friend. I'm just glad that you finally cried... fully sober."
"Let's not talk about that breakdown," I joke and he laughs. "Anyway..." I drift off looking at him.
"Pick you up tomorrow?" He asks.
"Yeah," I nod.
"Cool," he grins. "See you then."
"Yeah, see you then," I smile back grabbing my bag. "Drive safe."
"I won't," he says and I look at him. "I'm sorry! That was a joke. I will!"
"Bye dumb-ass," I say.
"Bye," he laughs again.
I leave his car shutting it. I go to my door and Andrew doesn't leave until I'm inside. I let out a long sigh once I shut the door. Today was a long day.

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A/N

Hey guys! I'm sorry for the late update AGAIN! I've been super busy with a lot. I will try updating the next chapters faster! I hope you enjoy and pls tell me your thoughts on this chapter! Xoxo.

- Jana❤️