𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙊 𝙔𝙊𝙐 ↣ 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

forty - up all night

[i loved you
in spite of deep fears
that the world would divide us]

__________________________________

"Look up," Cassie said. I did what she requested and she delicately applied another coat of mascara to my lashes.

We were in my dressing room at The Ellen Show. I had all last night and most of today to wrap my head around the fact that it was actually happening, but I couldn't.

I was making it big time.

"Okay, you're good. Now get changed," Cassie said swiftly. She backed away from me and I stood up, walking over to my clothes. Cassie and I were close, and the room didn't have an attached bathroom, so I opted to change where I was. I had just stepped out of my sweats when the door opened.

I whipped around with wide eyes. Harry was standing in my dressing room doorway with a look of shock. "Shut the door!" I shouted. He closed it behind him and turned around, giving me privacy. "I swear we've had the whole knock conversation," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. "I thought it would be locked or something if you were changing!"

"Whatever, it's fine, you're fine," I brushed it off. I stepped into the jeans Cassie had laid out for me, jumping to pull them up all the way. I zipped and buttoned them up, before changing my top and left letting Harry know he was fine to turn around.

"Hey, no, this is not happening," Harry said. He gestured to my outfit. I looked down at it, confused. "I'm not matching with you on live television."

I laughed and looked at his outfit. We were both in black skinny jeans with maroon t-shirts.

"Don't worry, I'm the cute one," I said, patting his cheek. I turned to leave, but Harry scrambled to stop me.

"Woah, hey, the back is sheer," he said quickly, "the scars, darling."

"Shit," I mumbled. I looked back at the mirror. The back was made of a sheer maroon fabric. The cute bra I was wearing, but also all of my scars, were on full display. "What am I gonna do? How long until we go on?"

"Like five minutes," Harry said. "Cassie?"

"I can look through and see if I have another shirt in the same color," she said, immediately dropping to her knees in front of a bin. She dug through it, tossing clothes out.

The other four boys walked in and furrowed their eyebrows, confused by what they were seeing. "Mickey's shirt is sheer in the back," Harry explained.

"I've got an idea!" Cassie announced. She stood up from her spot and looked at Harry expectantly. "You were wearing a long sleeved button down earlier, right?"

"You're a genius, baby," Harry said fondly. He quickly pecked her lips before running back to his own dressing room.

Thirty seconds later, Harry came back. He offered the black button down to me casually. I pulled it on and then laughed. It was giant.

"This is a choice," I said, looking at my reflection.

"It's cute, you're cute, everything is fine," Cassie said.

"Right," I said.

There was a knock at the door. The sound check woman poked her head in. "Are we ready?" She asked.

"Yeah," I said. "All of us?"

"No, just you for now. The boys will join you later. Let's go, we don't want to get off schedule," she said. She nodded for me to follow her and then left. I gave the boys wide eyed looks as I went to follow her.