Splatoon Boyfriend Scenarios

When they're drunk

requested by Dumbxss_Warrior

Goggles

You were at a pretty intense battle with your boyfriend Goggles.

"Hey there! want a drink?" a dude with a cooler asked you and Goggles.

"Sure, I guess," you said and he handed you two cans that looked suspiciously like Alchohol. You went to throw away the can and when you Got back Goggles was taking loooong drink of the stuff.

"Oh god GOGGLES DON'T DRINK THAT!!" you yelled but it was too late. he went a little crazy and ended up shouting the lyrics to 'Color Pulse' into the stage and almost jumped off the rails into the water, which apparently he thought was a sea of pickled plums before you grabbed him by the collar and dragged him home.

Rider

"Rider? hey, wake up!" you nudged your sleepy boyfriend. he'd literally been sleeping all day. what was wrong with him?

"Noooo...its not time for school yet mom..." he groaned.

"Mom? what?" you said, confused. he was awake, that was for sure. was he hallucinating or something?

"Waiiiit, you're not my mom.. you're my eeextra sweet gummy bear," he slurred and kissed you... a bit too sloppily and swayed into the kitchen. you tried to wipe the spit off your face, disgusted when you noticed the Apple cider wrapper on his bottle peeling off to reveal another label underneath.

beer. he's drunk. and he's in the kitchen.

"RIDER WAIT!"

Army

"okay umm... how about we both have to try a new drink?" Army suggested as you walked toward the diner where you had your first date.

"Sure," you agreed, and when it was time to order you asked for lemonade, which you'd never had before and he asked for something called Budweiser, which you both assumed was soda.

until of course, he started acting a bit weird. first, he threw up on his burger, then he collapsed into his vomit, then at home, he tried to make curry out of cake mix. (???) This whole time you were frantically trying to drag Army away from knives and ovens in case he hurt himself. you searched up the drink Army had ordered and saw that it was beer. 

"sigh..."

Aloha

"Yo, Y/N!" Diver yelled from across the pool.

"Yeah?"

"Aloha's... uh... REALLY DRUNK!" he shouted, trying to keep a giggling Aloha away from a group of... girls. That boy is MINE.

"What are you doing, idiot?! we're going home!" you growled and tried to grab his hand.

"Whyyy?" he whined. 

"Because I am your GIRLFRIEND and don't want you flirting with other girls!" you hissed, tears forming in your eyes when he tried to blow a kiss to the group of girls. (he accidentally hit his eye instead of his mouth.) he stumbled along with you and conked out on the couch while you tried not to be mad at him.

"Y/N?" a weak voice mumbled a few hours later. you stared at him coldly. "Y/N, I love you..." he said weakly, and tears formed in his eyes.

"Shhh, It's okay," you whispered and kissed his forehead.

Gloves

"Hey, Gloves," you called into his door. "I, uh... thought we could hang out?" you called and heard loud music and crashing.

"GIIIIRLLS JUST WANNA HAAAAVE FUUUN!" Gloves yelled, banging a pot with one of his dualies.

"Gloves, what the heck?" you shouted, covering your ears. you scanned the room for what made Gloves go crazy when you saw a glass of lemonade in the corner. Hard lemonade...

"Gloves! you're freaking drunk!" you screamed, and ran to turn off the speakers. he didn't even notice and kept screaming and banging. you hugged him around the waist and whispered to him until he dropped the pan. he vomited on your shirt and fell asleep.

he'd gotten the song stuck in your head.

Emperor

Emperor was, uh... drunk.

like REAL drunk. so much so that he was dancing to the gummy bear song. and If you know Emperor, you know that he despises the gummy bear song and dancing.

"E-Emperor... c-can I turn off the music?" you said, trying to control Emperor's... well...wild movements. It was all you could do to not crack up. Emperor shook his head and kept on dancing.

when the song ended, ACTUAL TEARS formed in Emperor's eyes and he started whimpering like a baby until you turned it on again.

he was mortified when you told him what he'd done after he dried up a bit. he made you swear never to tell anyone.

Prinz

"Y/N... what are you doing?" Prinz snapped. you looked up, confused by his sudden sharpness.

"I'm... uh... eating a cupcake?" you said, raising your eyebrows.

"You didn't offer ME a cupcake!!" Prinz yelled and started bawling. you pushed the half-eaten cupcake toward him, alarmed. you went into the kitchen and saw some, uh... heavily alcoholic black tea, most likely a leftover from Aloha's parties.

"Oh cod no..." your sweet innocent Prinz was drunk.

When you got back to him, there was frosting covering his face and he was snoring. you dragged him to bed and kissed his cheek before letting him sleep with his frosting beard.

Wow, I... uh... actually loved writing that one. is that weird...?