The Lies We Tell

Chapter 15

"Are you okay?" I heard a guy ask. I looked up from my phone and saw Chad had joined me on the bench.

I slid my phone back into my pocket. My mother could wait. After all, she did this to me all the time. "Yeah, I guess so. What are you doing in the park?"

He held up his camera. "I was actually coming here to film a scene for a video. Would you help? It always makes it easier when someone does."

"Sure."

---

Twenty minutes and three takes later, I handed Chad's camera back to him. "Thanks," he said with a smile.

"No problem." I forced a smile and turned to leave.

"Hey, wait up a sec." I stopped, but I didn't turn around. "Jared's been suspended. Just thought you should know before you come back to school."

The park felt off-kilter. "Okay."

"He was suspended for a week and the coach benched him for the year." I heard his come closer and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

I spun to face him. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Why are you telling me this?"

He studied me a moment before glancing at a couple from school that was sitting on a nearby bench. "Walk with me. Come on." He began walking farther down the path. I followed him, just a little curious. Once we were out of earshot, he asked, "You do know I'm with Lexi, right?"

"Of course. You're the one who told me."

He nodded. "Oh, yeah. Well, because of that I hear a lot about Courtney and all the other kids she hangs out with. After lunch, when she caught word about Jared, she texted me. She said Courtney blames you entirely and she's been telling people it's all your fault. According to what she's saying, Jared tried to flirt with you and you were into it, but when he tried to push things farther you freaked. I don't know how much is true, or if any of it is, but she claims you went to the principal because you're jealous of her and Ryan."

Almost from the time he began telling me this, my jaw was hanging. She was actually saying it was true? "That's a load of crap! None of that's true!" Well, the part about Ryan kind of was, but I wasn't jealous so much as hurt.

"I didn't think it was." He ran a hand through his brown curls, smoothing them down. "I know you better than that, I think." He glanced at me. I could almost see the question in his eyes before he hesitantly asked. "What actually happened last year?"

Maybe it was because we'd spent so much time together doing YouTube stuff, but I felt so much more comfortable with him than with Ryan. So, for the third time in 24 hours, I told the story of my time with Jared. As I did, I realized that each time I told it made it easier. Each time felt like a little bit of the burden had been taken from my chest.

When I finished, he gave me a quick one-arm hug. "I'm sorry that happened to you," he said, his voice holding more sincerity than anyone else's had so far. It was almost enough to bring the tears back to my eyes. If I had any left, that is. "I assume that's what you told the principal? That whole story?"

"Yeah, but he didn't seem to believe me."

"But he disciplined Jared. That has to account for something."

I nodded. "True, but he still made me feel ashamed to tell him."

He shook his head. We walked in silence for a minute. "I've been wanting to tell you," he started in a quiet voice. "I saw your video. I was waiting until I saw you in person to say anything about it and this is the first chance I've had. I want to say that I get it. Not everyone does, but I do. What we put in our videos is only the half of our stories that we want other people to see. As much as you may watch my videos, you're never going to see the half that has parents who are divorced. It happened five years ago, and I was in the middle of it all. Ever since, he might as well be dead. We never talk about him, we don't have any of his pictures. The only proof he still exists is the check he sends us every month."

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. He's not the best guy. What happened was that I got wise to him and told my mom. If you want to talk about blaming yourself for something, we can start with feeling like it's you who broke your parents up. Back then, all I could think was that it was my fault."

"But it wasn't."

"You're right. It was his fault. His choices." He smiled over at me. "Just like everything that's happened to you isn't your fault. You weren't driving the car that hit your dad's. You didn't invite Jared to harass you. Those things didn't work out in your favor, but it's nor your fault."

It's not my fault. Those were the words I needed to hear. My heart filled with emotions and they began to pour out. Tears I didn't know I had began pouring out on their own. It wasn't my fault. I needed to hear those words so bad. We stopped walking and I was vaguely aware of Chad trying to ask me questions, but I couldn't hear him over the sound of my thoughts. He finally held out his arms and I fell into them, sobbing into his shoulder. He wasn't holding me responsible. I'd been blaming myself this whole time. But it wasn't my fault.

I wasn't fine. I hadn't been for a long time. I was only beginning to realize that now.

I was so glad.

When I was beginning to calm down, I heard someone walking past. Right. Public. I pulled away and wiped at my face. When I came away with black smudges, I remembered my makeup. I glanced at Chad's shirt. It was black. I sighed with relief. "Sorry about that," I said. "Thank you."

He smiled at me. "Don't worry about it. And you're welcome." We began walking back towards the bench. "Oh, Evie," he said as we drew close.

"Yeah?"

"Lexi told me to warn you. Courtney's going to be looking for you Monday morning. Also, the students will probably have it out for you. Lexi says she'll try to keep things from getting too bad." Chad put a hand on my arm and stopped me. He met my gaze. "Lexi is a good person, Evie. You can trust her. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you. I'll make sure I'm ready to face them. First, I have to go home and face my mom."

"Have fun with that."

I gave him my first genuine smile of the day. "Oh, I will."