You tell me that we’re friends.
You’ll talk to me when we sit together
And listen to what I have to say.
For a while,
It actually feels like I matter,
Or at least until someone new
Comes into the equation.
You talk to them more than me
And to hardly seem to pay any attention
To the fact that I’m there.
I don’t want to be rude
And interrupt the conversation,
And you never drag me in,
Unless you want a second opinion.
Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion,
Telling myself it’s more than what it really is.
Maybe it’s just my anxiety,
Causing me to make a fuss over nothing.
Or maybe it’s exactly what it feels like:
You don’t care about me
Unless I’m the last thing you've got.
I’m consistently left out of the conversation
And I’m constantly scared I’ll be rude
If I try to add something,
Because I don't know when the right time would be to get involved
Or if you’d actually care to hear it,
If you even heard it at all.
I constantly worry
That I’m not involved
Because neither of you cares to talk to me,
Or at least not when you have one another.
I see the stories you post on social media,
All of the fun you have together,
How much you guys text each other,
And compare it to how often either of you texts me.
So now I can’t help but ask.
Do you really even care about me,
Or am I just someone to pass the time?
I beat myself up over the answer,
Scared of what it may really be.
All I can ask
Is that you please don’t dump me
Like others in the past.
