Undeniably Hopeless

One Day In The Future

Pinky promise me that someday we will...

Future planning started in January. Not long into the relationship i know but when you know something feels right you go for it.

I get over excited its safe to say but hell was my life going to be the best with Sandra in it.  Our first plan was for me to visit in the summer of 2020 (haha cornovirus) all we had to do was select the dates because of un-coordinated summer break time from school, save up for the trip itself and get parental permission as i would be travelling alone to America at the age of 16. Parental Permission wasn't going to happen, and it didn't. Not only did my parents think the whole having a girlfriend and liking girls thing was a joke as they don't support it they thought the idea of me travelling to see said girlfriend was ridiculous and i was being delirious. 

Our next plan was a trip i had planned myself at 4 am because i got bored and couldn't think of anything other than Sandra. A trip around Europe, i always wanted to travel the world with the one person i wanted to be with forever so starting small with a trip tour of Europe with Sandra once we were older sounded perfect to my poor little heart. Have 3-4 day visit each to the main places in Europe, London, Paris, Venice, Rome, Spain etc. This was the one i was most excited about because i had a plan. Sandra never knew about this and i didn't plan on telling her for obvious reasons. Either in Paris or Venice i was thinking by that time we would've been together for a long time, so i was planning that then would be the perfect setting and moment to propose. Now thinking about proposing to someone at such a young age may come across as strange but technically this wouldn't have been until we were in our mid twenties at least, if we were still together for it to happen. I knew that right now i wanted to be with her forever because when with her i was happier. I thought she was my soulmate, my happy ever after. 

The plan that followed was what was supposed to be our life together as adults. We thought about where we would live, if we would adopt kids, where we would spend specific holidays. We had settled on living in England maybe starting off in the place i grew up then moving somewhere different in the future where we could adopt kids after being in work for a while and having time to ourselves. We would spend my birthday, Christmas and the new year in England then Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Sandra's birthday in America. This was the future i had dreamed about, it was a future i couldn't wait to live out because i thought she was my soulmate, my happy ever after. 

A fourth and final plan came next, a plan i conducted on my own to spend more time with Sandra as i got older and went into higher education. My plan was to rent somewhere near where she lived and to have a gap year where i would be in work so we could go into university or well college together in America so we could graduate together and be on the same page. This was an unlikely to happen plan but i still like to think that if things were different it would've happened because i was willing to do something like that. I really wanted to do something like that to spend more time with her. 

Because i thought she was my soulmate, my happy ever after.