Rest Your Love On Me {Tradley Story}

Chapter Eighteen

5th April 

- What are you talking about Iris?
- Have you started to mutilate yourself again?

Bradley looked away and the French woman immediately understood that the answer was an unequivocal yes. He felt like all of his scars were coming up to reveal himself to his friend.

- May I know why ?
- I can't forget, it's too hard.
- Since a long time ?
- About a month and a half.
- Why, didn't you tell me about it?
- I don't know.
- Did you draw a lot of lines?
- Yes.
- Do you disinfect well?
- Yes.
- Where did you do them?
- Thighs and wrist. How did you find out?
- You adopted the behavior you had when we met. And then I noticed that you often shut yourself up in the bathroom or the toilet.
- The discretion and me that makes two, it seems.
- But do you remember what I told you when you stopped with this?
- Yes, he winced.

* 3rd October, a year and a half earlier *

The young curly man was sitting against the wall of the bathroom. Water ran down his aching body as tears rolled along with his blood. Bright red scratches appeared on her stomach and thighs.

He had been beaten up that afternoon by a gang of boys who insulted him and made fun of him. They persisted in shouting from the rooftops that he was gay and this could provoke the fury of the homophobes present. Outbursts of violence against him often took place.

Why didn't people accept his sexual difference?

He decided to get up to wash before going out to dry to put on his clothes. He had come to take refuge with Iris immediately after school. She greeted him with a worried look and told him he could stay overnight if he wanted to. He had not refused.

He came out of the bathroom and came face to face with his best friend who was smiling at him.

- You finally went out, I was waiting to wash your clothes.
- Oh yes, I forgot to leave them at the door.
- Well, I'm used to you wrapped up.
- Do you want me to do something?
- Oh well if you could prepare two hot chocolates and take out the package of cakes, that would be perfect.
- No problem, he said, kissing her cheek.

He rushed to the kitchen to do what he had been told.

She looked at him before entering to take his clothes. However, seeing the towel where red marks were found, she frowned. Looking near the shower she saw red droplets and the water that remained in the shower was slightly tinged with pink. She sighed before going to start the laundry.

When she got brown again, she had a twinge of heart. He looked so innocent on the couch rolled up in the purple blanket, firmly holding his still smoking mug watching cartoons.

She took her place at his side and took her hand before turning her face in his direction.

- Bradley, can we talk?
- Yes.
- Above all, know that I don't judge you and that I would not shout at you, okay.
- Yes then what are you talking about?
- It may not be my business but I was wondering, do you practice self-harm?

It decomposed. How did she guess? Before his surprised look and his silence, she caressed his hand.

- I'm going to take this silence for a yes. Can I know why ?
- High school, he said, looking down.
- Idiots who hurt you?
- Yes.
- You know what we're going to make a pact you and me honey.
- What? he said, raising his chocolate eyes to her.
- We will make a mutual promise.
- What are you talking about ?
- I take care of the idiots in high school and you, you promise to stop hurting yourself, okay?
- We can't stop this all at once.
- I know you can do it, I couldn't either chase them all away. So let's go step by step. I'll always be there for you, wrapped up. But if you break our promise then know that I would do it too.
- To hurt you?
- Yes so ?

He looked at his cup for long minutes. What should he do? After all, all of her worries come from her school. What if Iris was the key to no longer suffer?

- It's okay.
- So our promise is effective now.

She kissed his cheek before turning to look at the TV screen.

* Back to the present *

 
- I intend to keep my promise.
- No !

She got up from a voucher to go to the bathroom. He wanted to get up quickly, but he winced because of his ankle. He had to take his crutches to join her. She had cut her left wrist five times and watched the blood flow in the sink.

- No no no ! exclaimed the curly.
- It's nothing, just that I keep my promise. So I put the stake back on the table. You stop and I stop too?
- I ... Okay, but you, I don't want to see you do it anymore! You don't realize what you're trying to get yourself into.
- Okay, so we're quits. And do you remember how we lived it?
- Yes.
- Then we'll do it together.

Their program consisted of speaking, writing, listening to music or playing sports when the call of the blade is heard. They had work ahead of them.

15th April 

Ten days of torture.
Ten days in one pain.
Ten days of regret.
Ten days when he had done nothing.

Not a single stroke, nothing. He had followed Iris' advice. He had stopped cutting himself even though it was extremely hard. He talked about it with his therapist who told him that it was a good start. He was starting to have a little less nightmare. Writing when a notebook all his feelings helped him.

He was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bradley was with Tristan and his little group of friends. Nothing had changed. James and Iris were still looking for each other, they had not yet exchanged their first kiss. However, the curly little boy noticed that Connor and Claire didn't appear on their plates. The group of friends were far too quiet when they were all gathered in a park enjoying hot dogs.

 - Why are you making so much head? asked Tristan.
- I have to tell you something, said the two lovers together.
- What is happening ? Iris worried.
- Honor to the ladies, Connor smiled sadly.
- I'm going to move.

Bradley looked at her with wide eyes just like the others. They didn't understand the news, as if their brains had refused to record the announcement.

- What?
- I move. My father was transferred to Seattle and I am leaving in ten days.
- Tell me you're kidding, exclaimed the blond.
- No, it is unfortunately true.
- So since we're launched, Connor sighed, I’ am moving too.
- What ?! cried Bradley.
- My uncle Charles is sick. My parents want to be ready for him because the doctors say he will have more for a long time. So in ten days, I'm leaving for San Francisco.

The other four teenagers couldn't believe their ears. The couple in the group were going to go in two completely opposite directions.

Faces became grave.
The eyes started to shine.
The throats tightened.
The hands began to tremble.
The hearts broke.

- It was calm before the storm and it took us all by surprise, thought Bradley, feeling a little thing as pure as crystal and as sparkling as a diamond running down his cheek.