Can't Stop (Frusciante fan fic)

Part 24-Taste The Pain

A/N: Finally found a Mother's Milk era picture (or at least BSSM) to go with the title. No direct John's POV in this chapter, but if you read between the lines and have some patience, he's definitely there. And next chapter, well..

November 4, 2020

Nearly 1 month after I return, everything seems back to normal with Greg. It takes me over a week after the concert to settle my feelings and feel somewhat comfortable being intimate with him again. I don't like to distance myself from John because the chemistry between us is off the charts. But other than some scattered text messages and exchanging cute pics (I even send him one of all 3 kids in their signed RHCP T-shirts), I do try to keep my distance. I know he must do the same. I could see happiness, disappointment, and worry all at the same time in Flea's eyes when he saw John and me together.

I care for Greg and even sometimes think I love him. But I can't deny my feelings for John. I feel bonded to him through his music, through opening up to him, and the fact that we have both dealt with mental health issues our entire lives. And yeah, the sex is a undeniable factor. As is the fact that he's Sophia's guitar hero, and has become one of her favorite people. 

Greg seems almost too perfect to me sometimes, and he was clearly married to perfection before I came into the picture. I'm no beauty queen, and although my little girl is a beauty (who IMO looks more like her father than me, regardless of what Flea says), I'm teaching her not to rely on being pretty to get her where she wants in life. I can also be a pain in the ass, and as far as the "love, honor, and obey" part of marriage, I better not get married because I'd suck at that last one.

No matter the circumstances of John's life in L.A., and mine in San Diego, we can't keep our hands off each other when we are alone in the same room. That I know for sure.

Anyway, today is Election Day. All 5 of us gather around Greg's TV to watch the election returns. I'll not get into politics much, but I will say I am VERY nervous after having watched the evening of November 9, 2016 unfold. I barely slept that night and didn't talk to anyone at work except to say hello the next day and it took every bit of effort I had to get through patient care. Most of my patients were similarly dumbfounded, though we shouldn't have been.

Greg told me he had much the same reaction in 2016, just before he and Holly and the kids moved here from Georgia. Of course, I'm sure he wasn't as emotional as I was, as he is a WASP male, and his perspective is completely different from mine. And I'm way too sensitive. This time, however, Sophia understands just how important this is, not only to us, but for her future. She told me she wishes she could vote, even if it doesn't make a difference in California. Perhaps Maeve and Will understand too, but I'm not certain.

We watch the votes from the swing states, especially from the Midwest. It's close. Maeve and Will munch on the popcorn and chips and salsa. The rest of us are too nervous to eat anything. I try to ignore North Carolina and Florida, where some friends of mine live and either hate it, or conversely, have become totally indoctrinated. Like the song "Californication" says, we've got our demons in CA. But we own them, and I'd never live in any other state at this point. To be fair, some might say, I'm indoctrinated by the "left wing media." We could talk about this bullshit for hours.

Fortunately, the map on the TV looks just the color I want it. By 8 PM, I'm satisfied that maybe, the future will be different in a good way sooner rather than later. Greg and I hug and toast with some champagne, and Sophia and the kids drift to sleep on his large couch. It's not a perfect world, and not everyone's cup of tea, but I have some more hope now.

2 weeks later:

Everything is going swimmingly. They are splitting my telemedicine work into 2 days a week, then I do these stupid exams for the state on the weekends out in the desert. At least the split days allow me more time to relax with Sophie, Greg, and our kitty. I will be meeting Greg's parents for the first time in Pasadena for Thanksgiving, which makes me happy but nervous. Just one thing is bothering me.