Helpless (Reece Bibby/James Graham)

Chapter Two

“Jaz, I’ve arranged to go round to Jake and Casey’s flat. The other lads are going to be there. We’ll go in half an hour,” Reece told me. I looked up at him and shook my head. “I can’t. I’m really busy,” I replied. Reece took my hands in his and smiled weakly. “Babe, come on, you haven’t seen them in over a month,” Reece said. I glanced down at my arm to see that my sleeve had ridden up and was no longer covering the cuts I’d inflicted on myself just a couple of nights ago. “I’ll go…for an hour or so. Not long,” I replied, pulling my hands out of his so I could pull my sleeve down.

“Mummy, we going to see Uncle Jake?” she asked as I picked her up. “We are. And Uncle Chris, Uncle Casey and Uncle Tom,” I answered her. “And Uncle Charlie and Uncle Barclay,” Reece added. “Uncle James?” Anabelle questioned. “Yes. Uncle James too,” I replied, “Now let’s go and get you ready.”

I carried Anabelle into her bedroom and picked out her favourite pink dress. I got her changed into it before brushing her hair and putting her shoes on. “You look so cute,” I told Anabelle. I sent Ana to her dad so I could get changed.

After changing into more presentable clothing and covering my face in makeup to hide the dark circles under my eyes, I went into the living room. Reece and Anabelle were waiting for me and as soon as I’d grabbed my phone and keys, we left the flat.

Unfortunately, the journey to Jake and Casey’s flat went by quicker than I’d have liked. Reece knocked on the door which was answered by Jake. He picked up Anabelle and swung her round as she squealed ‘Uncle Jake’. Reece went inside the flat with Ana to be greeted by the other lads while I stood in the hall with Jake.

“It’s about time you showed your face,” Jake said with a smirk as I took my coat off and hung it on the coat rack. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. “What’s with all the makeup?” he asked, examining my face. “I just wanted to make an effort,” I replied, flashing him an unconvincing smile.

I went into the lounge before he could say anything else. “Look who’s finally showed up,” Charlie said as he stood up. He gave me a hug which was followed by hugs from the rest of the lads. James smiled at me which gave me butterflies like the ones I had when I first met him. He pulled me into a hug allowing me to breathe in his comforting scent. God, I missed him.

I pulled away from James and sat down beside Reece who slipped his hand into mine. I wanted to take my hand away and slap him. I wanted to stand up and tell everyone how empty I felt. But I couldn’t, of course. Everything had to look as though it was fine, just fucking fine.

The lads kept asking me questions like, where have you been? What have you been up to? It was frustrating because the only reply I could come up with was, “Oh, you know, just busy with Ana and stuff.” I eventually escaped to the bathroom for a few minutes. I knew it had been a bad idea to come here.

When I’d spent a few minutes in the bathroom I decided I should return to the lounge and make up some sort of excuse about Ana’s bedtime so I could leave. As I left the bathroom, Jake was just walking round the corner. He smiled at me. “Jaz,” he spoke then sighed, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

I smiled. “I’m fine, Jake.” He took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly. “You can talk to me, you know? I’m here for you,” he told me and I nodded before trying to pull my hand away so I could pull my sleeve over the cuts on my arm. But Jake didn’t let go. He frowned before looking down at my arm. He carefully lifted my sleeve to reveal the cuts.

Jake didn’t say anything as his eyes looked at the cuts carefully. “Why did you do this to yourself?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine. I was stumped. I didn’t know how to explain it to him. “I knew there was something wrong. Babe, we need to tell Reece,” Jake told me but I immediately shook my head. “Don’t you dare. Our relationship is already shaky at the moment. If he sees this he’ll probably stop me seeing Anabelle or something. It was a one off, Jake. It won’t happen again.”

Jake didn’t look convinced. “I won’t tell Reece as long as you don’t do this again,” he said and I nodded. “I promise, I won’t,” I replied, looking at him pleadingly. Jake let go of my arm before giving me a hug. “If you ever feel like this again call me, okay?” he spoke and I nodded.

Jake and I returned to the lounge. Our return was barely noticed which didn’t surprise me. James smiled at me and I returned it. God, I loved him. “We should go soon,” Reece piped up. He’d seen me and James looking at one another. “Ana needs to get to bed,” he added. I didn’t want to leave Jake and Casey’s flat. I knew Reece would yell at me.

“I’ll stay here for a little while,” I told Reece before giving Jake a pleading look. “Yeah Jaz, you can give me your opinion on that thing I told you about earlier,” Jake lied and I smiled gratefully. “You need to get started on your new project tomorrow, Babe,” Reece told me and I nodded. “I won’t be long,” I replied as he stood up.

Reece picked up Anabelle and headed for the door. “Come here,” he told me. I stood up and walked over to him. He glanced over my shoulder before kissing me. “I love you,” he spoke, louder than he needed to. He was trying to make James jealous again. “Reece, just go,” I snapped before kissing Anabelle’s forehead.

I waited until Reece had gone before turning to look at James. He had stood up and was walking towards me. He stopped just in front of me, placing his hand on my cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. I was aware that the room was full of Reece and James’ band members. But I was also aware that they all knew I was still in love with James.

This time when the tears welled up in my eyes I couldn’t stop them from falling. James held me against him as I began to sob. All the lads could do was watch as I fell apart in James’ arms.

A/N: I hope you all have a wonderful final day of 2014! Don't get too drunk tonight. I shall update next year. Stay fab!