Helpless (Reece Bibby/James Graham)

Chapter Four

Three days later and nothing had happened. My mood was becoming worse as the days went by. James would occasionally send me a text message telling me that he was trying to figure something out. But I knew he wasn’t. There was nothing he could do. I had to live with this emptiness.

Jake had come round every day and checked my wrists to make sure there were no fresh cuts. I loved him for his concern. But the top of my legs was a new favourite and he couldn’t see the cuts there.

It felt as if there was something pushing me further into a black hole and the further I went into the black hole, the more appealing death became. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave my little girl. But living with this horrible darkness every day was awful. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take it. I wanted to believe that everything would be okay but honestly, I didn’t think it would. Hope is a dangerous thing. And I was scared.

“Mummy,” Anabelle sang as she came into the flat with Reece. I picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek before flashing Reece my most convincing smile. “How was your trip?” I asked, looking at the four bags in his hands. “Good. I got some stuff for the tour,” he replied. It felt as though the conversation ended there. We’d lost our flow…our connection.

“Did you have fun?” I asked Anabelle. She nodded and grinned. “We saw Auntie Faye,” she told me. “Oh, did you? How is Auntie Faye?” I questioned as I sat down and Anabelle moved onto my lap. “Daddy likes Auntie Faye,” she replied. The smile on my face faded. Of course Reece liked Faye. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he was cheating on me with her. I wasn’t good enough for him.

“Mummy, what’s wrong?” Anabelle asked. I smiled and said, “Nothing. I’m fine.” Anabelle kissed my cheek and I gave her a hug before she whispered, “Daddy said not to tell you we saw Auntie Faye.” I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to process what was happening. “Mummy, am I in trouble?” Anabelle asked. “No, of course not, Honey. I’ll tell you what, we’ll get you ready for bed and I’ll read you a bedtime story tonight instead of Daddy, okay?”

Anabelle jumped off my lap and took my hand, pulling me into her bedroom. Once Anabelle was changed into her pyjamas and was tucked up in bed, I picked out a book from the bookshelf. I sat and read to her for half an hour before she fell asleep.

When I went back into the living room, Reece was smiling at his phone. The thought of him cheating on me made me feel sick. Before Reece noticed I was there, I went into the bedroom and shut the door so I could call James.

“Jasmine,” he spoke as he answered the phone. I stayed quiet for a moment before tears began to fall down my cheeks. “James…I need you,” I whispered. “Oh, Jaz, please don’t cry. Can you get away for the night?” he asked me. “I don’t know. I can try,” I replied. “Okay, Baby. I’ll be outside your building in fifteen minutes. I love you,” he said. “I love you too.”

It wasn’t hard to pack a bag and sneak out of the flat without Reece noticing. I guess that was down to the fact he was glued to his phone for the whole night. As soon as I saw James’ car relief took over me. “Baby,” James spoke as he got out of the car. He gave me a hug and kissed my cheek before we both got inside the vehicle.

“Jake’s meeting us at mine and Barclay’s flat,” James told me as he drove us away from the building I lived in with Reece. I didn’t say a word for the whole journey and I think James accepted that. He knew there was something that had made me feel worse than I already did. And he knew he’d find out in my own time.

James and I went inside his flat to find Jake and Barclay sat on the sofa. They both gave me a hug as soon as they saw me. “Do you want something to drink? Tea?” James asked me and I nodded. He went into the kitchen, leaving me with Jake and Barclay. I sat down beside Jake and ran my hands through my hair.

“So which of you has he told?” I asked when James returned with two cups of tea. They all looked confused. “What do you mean?” Jake questioned. “I know about Reece and Faye,” I replied. It was only Barclay who knew what I was talking about. “When did you find out?” Barclay asked me. “Today,” I replied. Everyone remained silent.

“I’m not good enough for him, am I?” I asked after a while. “Jasmine, don’t you dare. You are more than good enough for him,” Jake answered. I couldn’t believe Reece was cheating on me. I couldn’t believe it was true. “If I go back to your flat with you when Reece has gone to sleep you can get Anabelle and come and stay with me and Casey for a little while,” Jake told me and I nodded. I’d turned my phone off so Reece couldn’t get hold of me.

The next few hours felt like the longest few hours of my life. And I was shaking when Jake and I arrived at the building I lived in with Reece. He held my hand as we went up to my flat. I quietly unlocked the door and went inside. Reece was asleep on the sofa. Jake pointed towards Anabelle’s bedroom and nodded at me.

I quietly opened the door of Anabelle’s bedroom and went inside. She was fast asleep and she looked so peaceful. I sat down beside her and stroked her cheek lightly. She rolled over and looked up at me. “Mummy?” she whispered and I smiled. “Ana, I need you to get out of bed and come with me. We’re going to stay with Uncle Jake and Uncle Casey for a little while,” I told her. “Is Daddy coming too?” she asked and I shook my head. “No, Baby, it’s just me and you. But you’ll still see Daddy, don’t worry.”

I packed some of Anabelle’s things into a bag before putting a blanket around her and picking her up. “Anabelle, I love you,” I whispered and kissed her forehead.