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Chapter 2

I've been thinking, which rarely ends well, and I've come to a conclusion. I have two options. First one is that I tell the truth. To everyone. I can use my sick or vacation days at work, since I haven't used any in three years I've been working here. I can tell Matt why I'm really going home - when I was 18 I got married, it lasted only for a couple of years, we got separated under bad terms, and then I moved here. But we didn't get a divorce, because.. because it's complicated. Complicated in a way that at 23 years old I didn't quite understand and, frankly, I don't understand it now either. And then if he, by some miracle, still wants to marry me, I go home, ask my ex husband to sign the papers, come back to New York and marry the love of my life. It's as simple as that.

My second option is to lie, which is a lot less simple, but everyone who really knows me knows that I've never been a simple person. So I opt for complicated.

"Tell me again how this benefits me?" my editor chews on the top of her pen, looking at me with wide, confused eyes, as if she can't comprehend what I'm trying to say here. I know that she meant to say how this benefits us, as in the magazine, because this magazine is more or less her life, and she identifies with it. So when she says me, she means the magazine.

"Okay," I squirm in my chair, trying to find the best words to convince her to let me do this, "You always say you want to expand our audience, broaden our views, right? You don't want this magazine to be a typical magazine for New Yorkers because a lot of people in this city are not born and raised New Yorkers," I struggle to make my point.

She stops chewing on her pen and nods. It seems that I got her attention with this. Honestly, she seems a bit surprised as well, I don't think she thinks I've been listening to her ideas and wishes.

"I'm one of those people," I point out, "I come from a small town, where people lead very different lives, in a different pace and with different intentions. I've been meaning to go home for quite some time," I lie. I never meant to go home ever again. "So let me write this," I try to convince her.

But she's not fully convinced. Far from that, actually. "I don't know, Elena," she wiggles her lips. I'm losing her attention, and patience. "That's a big investment," her eyes grow wide, basically turning green with dollar signs.

"I know," I say firmly to show her that I've taken that into account as well, "Which is why we make a test pilot out of it. I'll make a draft before I go so we can publish it on the website and share it on social sites to see the feedback. I'll have the whole article ready for publication in time for the next issue," my voice gets excited, like I'm really looking forward to this.

"I don't know.." she's tempted by the idea, but I can see the wheels in her head turning, going through all the possible dangers and losses of this project, "It's too soon, the next issue is practically already made.."

"Oh, come on Katherine!" I raise my voice, but still keeping it light, "We both know that can be changed. You're always telling us you want new and fresh ideas, and now when I have one, you're not sure. Take a risk. If there's not much interest, we give up on it," which I'm hoping for. Why would people who ran away from small towns want to be reading about them when they live in the best city in the world? I know that I don't want to make my career out of traveling from one forgotten place to another.

She looks at me, surprised that I would stand up for this so fiercely, when I had only one goal ever since I came working here, which is writing my own column. She still seems unsure about it, but after some time of chewing her lip and playing with her pen, her look grows determined and she drops the pen on the table. "Okay," she says, "Deal."

Even though I wanted her to agree, I'm a bit stricken when she actually does. "Deal?" I stammer a little.

"Yes!" she throws her hands in the air, "Now go along before I change my mind," she squints at me, like she's trying to make me disappear just by using her mind.