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Chapter 16

"We've met each other two years ago!"

We're in some snobbish night club she made me go to, and now her expression is streaked with annoyance, because she can't seem to outshout the music. There are leather couches lined against the walls, there is no difference in price between top shelf and bottom shelf liquor, and I can feel my skin absorbing puffs of cigar smoke traveling through the air. If it weren't for loud, modern music, this place would resemble men's club from the 50's more than a 21st century night club.

"And you've been single ever since! God only knows for how long you've been single before that!" she says horrified, shuddering, as if being single is the worst thing that could happen to a 20 something woman. "Tell me honestly," she grabs my shoulders, shaking me lightly, a pitiful expression on her face, "Are you a virgin?"

"No," I say through laughter, but once I realize she doesn't believe me, since her expression doesn't change, I shout once again, this time more seriously. "No! Plus, I don't see you having a boyfriend, nor do I remember having one these past two years either," I say smugly, lifting my drink off of the counter and bringing it closer to my mouth.

My words have no effect on her, though, because she just shrugs. "I'm not a relationship material. Plus, who said anything about having a boyfriend?" she grins, "Friends with benefits is so much more fun."

I've had the exact number of two relationships in my life until now. Tyler, my first boyfriend, and Stefan. And I thought I would spend the rest of my life with Stefan, that I'm set for life, and I was more than satisfied by that thought. Until it shattered into million pieces. After I came here, I didn't even want to think about moving on with someone else. Moving on from Stefan seemed impossible. I replaced my loneliness with images and memories of him. But now, three years after I left, moving on with someone else doesn't seem as impossible as it used to. The only problem with that is that this city is too big, making it that harder to find a decent guy, and few of the guys I've met so far turned out to be immature or simply weird.

"Nah," I wave her off, "I'm not into that," I shrug, stirring my drink.

"What? Guys?"

"No," I laugh, "One night stands. Sex with no emotions involved."

Honestly, I've never tried. Who knows, maybe I would like it, but probably not, since I never really thought about it, nor has the idea of it ever tickled my imagination.

Bonnie's lower jaw drops. "Wait, that means you haven't had sex in, what, two years?" her eyes go wide with disbelief.

"Well," I bite my lower lip, centering my look on the edge of the table, "Three and half years, approximately."

Stefan and me tried once, after the accident. It was.. fine, but it wasn't like it used to be before. Neither of us were really there. We couldn't connect. And I couldn't stop thinking about his questions just moments before. 'Are you on the pill? Are you sure? Okay, but I'm going to get a condom just in case.' As if he wanted to make sure I don't get pregnant accidentally. Again. I didn't want a baby back then either, but out of some reason his words had hurt me more than they should have.

"Oh my God!" Bonnie exclaims and I think that, this time, she manages to make her voice louder than the music. "How are you even alive!?"

In that moment, a bunch of guys about our age, sitting on one of those comfy looking leather couches, start laughing loudly, collectively. At first I'm afraid they're overheard what we've been talking about and that they're laughing at me, but when I look in their direction I convince myself that they're not paying any attention to us. They're trapped in their own little world, only registering the words of their own making.