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Chapter 12

"Wow," she says, her eyes wide, her lower jaw hanging so close to the floor that it's practically scratching its surface. "I can't believe that you're - " she starts, but cuts herself off mid sentence, trying to find the right words to express the exact amount of surprise she's feeling. "I mean - " she tries again, but the words get lost on a run between her mind and her mouth. "Wow," she repeats the first word, deciding that's the best way to convey her emotions.

"I know," I take a sip of my banana smoothie through a thick straw, agreeing with her, because that's exactly how I would have reacted if she had told me that she's pregnant.

"Have you told your parents yet?" she inquires, half curious, half worried about what their reaction might have been.

"Mhm," I nod, my mouth full of delicious banana and milk mixture, "We've told them last night," I remember, the memory not so fond to me. "I would have told you sooner, but everything was happening so fast. One minute I was telling Stefan, the other I was in front of my parents. My brain had turned into a mush," I explain because I know that there's a big chance she might be offended by me not telling her sooner.

"It's cool," she shrugs it off, surprising me with her reaction. Maybe she's too curious to know what had happened next to remember to be offended. "How did your parents react?" she leans across the table, her elbows bumping against the plastic surface, as if the information is going to reach her sooner if she's closer to me.

"Well, the first five minutes of complete and utter silence were a bit awkward. Then my dad got up to get his shotgun, cursing under his breath, so my mom did her best to calm him down. It's the first time I've seen him angry at Stefan," my parents have always adored Stefan, my dad especially. "Well, I don't think he was as angry as much as he was disappointed. He actually asked Stefan what are his intentions with me," I roll my eyes, remembering his expression. He's been distant ever since we've told him. He's not only disappointed in Stefan, he's disappointed in me as well. I can tell, even though he hasn't said it out loud. Not yet, at least. My parents are very traditional people, and even though they love and approve of Stefan, they would have wanted us to start a family in the right order - first marriage, then a baby. They're not worried about what people are going to say, they're more worried about the effect those words will have on us, on the rest of our lives. Me? I'm more worried about how the situation we've found ourselves in will effect the rest of our lives rather than the words of other people. "My mom just kept saying that this is not the end of the word and that a baby is a blessing."

"What are you going to do next?" she blinks a few times, still trying to comprehend everything I'm saying.

I shrug, worry and stress and not knowing weighing on me, wearing me down. I'm trying to stay calm, but every minute of not knowing what's going to happen tomorrow is killing me. What I want, what I think I want, what I need and what I have are clashing, since none of those things are the same.

"I don't know," I try to sound indifferent, but my voice is not cooperating, "We have yet to figure that out."

"I'm sorry," she says sadly, as if she's feeling sorry for me. Well, it's not like she doesn't have a good reason to, but..

"Why are you sorry?" I frown, bringing my brows closer together. Why are everyone saying that they're sorry? Around here, girls are getting married and popping babies as soon as they finish high school, so why should I be any different? Why are they perceiving me as different?

"Well, I know this is not how you imagined your life would turn out.."

"Yeah, I haven't," I say firmly, "But I also haven't imagined I would ever dye my hair blonde which, at one point, I did," I reminiscence regretfully.