Where's My Love • A Reylo Story

We Bleed the Same

(TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Self-harm)

JULY 2020

Rey found herself on the cold hardwood floor again. A numbness like no other took over her body from the moment she heard Doctor Dameron's words. So much so that her knees gave way as soon as the call ended, sending her and the phone crashing to the floor.

She wanted to be dead. It was as simple as that. If she went to the morgue later and saw that her love was really dead, it would be the end for her, no doubt about it. The only reason she was still alive was because he hadn't been confirmed dead. But that could all change later in the day.

All she wanted was to hear him say 'I love you' one more time, but the closest she had to that was the note he wrote her. Yes, she still had it. It was harder to make out the words on it because her tears had stained it. It didn't really matter though, she had easily memorized it but it was nice to see it in his handwriting that was unique to him only. She held onto it every night, clutching it to her chest.

Doctor Dameron told her to come in at three that afternoon, which was only about six hours away. There was no way she could sit in her apartment and just wait for it dreadfully, so she texted Rose who she hadn't spoken to in a while. She didn't tell her about the call she'd received, just to come over as soon as possible.

Rose replied ten minutes later saying she was on her way over. This gave Rey another solid twenty minutes to sit and reminisce on every moment she'd spent with Ben. And she could only hope with everything she had that pulling back a sheet to reveal his cold, lifeless body wouldn't be her last moment with him.

For some reason, one particular memory stuck out in her mind this time.

SEPTEMBER 2019

The sound of the front door slamming echoed throughout the apartment. A concerned expression immediately placed itself on Rey's face as she emerged from the bedroom.

Ben was seething, leaning against the counter with his hands placed on the top.

She knew what this was about already. There had been troubles with First Order trying to take over Ben's company and he was more than fed up with it.

Before Rey could even take a step towards him, Ben hurled a whiskey glass off the counter and straight into a nearby wall, shattering it. She couldn't stop the gasp that left her at the sudden movement. Ben noticed and immediately looked apologetic but only sighed heavily and looked down.

Rey took careful steps towards her fiancé and put a comforting hand on his bicep. Ben immediately relaxed to her touch and leaned into her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled so she could barely hear.

"What happened?"

"He just..." Ben huffed, "he won't stop. He's manipulating me and the entire company, trying to find faults in everything we do, just wanting to prove that First Order should take over." He looked at Rey, "I won't let him Rey. I won't let fucking Snoke take away everything I've built there"

"I know you won't. He's just making up shit to scare you. There's no way they'll ever be able to take over, okay? "

"I don't know Rey, he's making points that are hard for even me to defend..."

"You'll figure it out."