Second Chance

Chapter 8: Killers' Sins

This was supposed to be my second chance, but I'm returning to the character that deserved to be punished. Surely it was more of a sub conscious effect which made me so casual about doing the wrong thing.

But the dream taught me to be more aware of my disciplinary behavior and so far it's been zero progress.

Other than the fact that I killed three people, four if you were to count that pit bull, i was doing the right thing right? It was all self defense right? I was protecting somebody I love so it shouldn't be counted as a cold blooded murder.

Justice, injustice; I wouldn't tell the difference even if it was a side by side comparison. The lines have been blurred to the extent where even I had trouble feeling the natural guilt which gave that fear of the law.

To blame yourself for the constant pain of others has always been a characteristic that even I personally would have trouble accepting. All these people however, hate me.

I don't blame them and I don't even think I ever will. It's easy to hate somebody, believe me it is. Sure they may be nice with daisy smiles and comedic lines but it's all total bullshit.

Emily is deferred to life with loneliness and apparently I am to blame. Her husband George is probably no better than me. But I think it's exactly like Summer and myself.

I'm not a great person and I doubt that I would change much. That message from Death that I thought was a second chance could be just a dream after all and I may just be overreacting, but it did seem to have some kind of meaning.

If it were to occur again then that would seal the deal. Dealing with this stupidity of mine is tougher than the inebriated fools across the street. Who are now dead.

My main question is if I were 'sent back' why would he send me to a time of trouble and uneasiness. It doesn't make any sense.

Sleep now and solve these questions.

***

It was chilling to say the least. The wind blew from upstairs and even though I was surrounded by objects of elegance and beauty; my body refused to feel welcome.

The chandeliers swayed with a notion, the suspense of it falling on me, kept me awake.

The leather sofa may have felt nice before, but it personified a rock when I attempted to take a little rest.

I don't recall being such an insomniac. The difficulty of closing my eyelids was frustrating. This uneasiness that annoyed me.

It annoyed me to the point of making me want to pull the plug, which is ridiculous. Killing yourself to keep the mind at bay is a little over the top. But right now that's my main solution.

If you could even call it a solution.

This depression was leaving a scar behind. I don't think I could face such harsh repercussions.

I've heard of these effects, where loneliness makes you feel hollow inside. I'm not lonely at all, I'm actually surrounded by very pleasant people.

I curled up, shuddering due to the low temperature. Is it snowing outside? Who left that underground door open anyway?

I glanced at the television, the screen was off. It was pitch black; it's darkness became menacing...

What's happening to me?

I couldn't help but leap up and make my way to the bathroom.

***

I looked at the tinted mirror, the reflection of myself kept me calm. The tap ran cold, as I requested but just feeling this water made me freeze.

Like I was about to get hypothermia, it was impossible from a physical standpoint; but if my mind thinks so my body can completely shut down.

But how do I know these things?

Why do I know such medical knowledge that I could even have the prestigious honor of being a doctor. It seems things didn't work out back then. I just resent this feeling of regret and powerlessness.

But I didn't come here to dwell about my life and decisions. I came here for some pills.

I opened the window mirror door and countless medication prescriptions lined up like a defensive line in NFL. It didn't help though as they weren't specifically ordered alphabetically. Oh forgive me for my need to be compulsively neat.

I read the prescriptions, one read 'Aciphex Oral' which was surprisingly instantly familiar. It's to relieve the esophagus and stomach of acidic pain. Not what I was looking for.

Another was described as 'Amoxicillin' which was a penicillin type anti-biotic to stop bacterial growth. This identifying seemed quite the relentless task.

Finally I found the shortcut for tonight's dilemma. A great pill mixed with mashed herbs. Two words: Herpicum perforate. A relief to my troubles, for now anyway.

I grabbed it and ran for the sofa. Without any further contemplation, I swallowed the pill.

At first there was no significant effect. It didn't work as quick as Valium did, but five minutes later my eyelids weighed a 1000 pounds. I smiled before falling into the abyss of complete unconsciousness.

***

"You filth!" A voice bellowed as I was kicked in the gut. Great, I'm screwed.

I looked up to see Death, his cloak was a dark purple. It was a ragged piece of clothing, but his face was under the shadow of the hood.

"This is what I get when I'm merciful?!" He asked rhetorically, his tone was silent. I staggered up to look at him. While I was 6'2 he was probably 7'5 by just the look of it.

I wouldn't stand a chance against him. I grimaced at him apologetically before being grabbed by this beast. Our eyes met, his eyes were red with fury before he threw me ten feet away to smash into the wall.

The hit was extremely painful, and I was winded. I tried to regain my breath, I looked up to sink in all features of this dream. If it is a dream.

It was just like before, a hallway with chandeliers loomed above and the paintings were on the side as always. But all represented crises mountains, volcanoes and people suffering.

That's when I had become really scared.

This guy is pissed. Death is pissed. So will he kill me?

"Please, I need some answers. I know you're furious but hear me out," he came closer and sat down on his throne that was a few feet away. "Thank you" I ended.

"Okay, I'll be quick. I want to know what I have to do and why. I also want to know why i am such an insomniac? Why I'm a killer?" I questioned curiously, my fear growing by the second.

He looked at me, his eyes were now blue. Do they change due to emotional states? Focus Jake I told myself.

"The reason I sent you back was because I knew that you needed a second chance. A chance to relive some moments that haunt you now. Those actions that you have fulfilled before are those that you would want to forget, thats why i gave you a dose of amnesia. I kept your muscle memory in check in case of dangerous situations." He replied quietly.

"A dose of amnesia my ass." I uttered because that amnesia was the cause to a lot of this crap. I might even be going crazy and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

He smiled, it was a small smile but it made me happier. It was very enlightening to see Death, evils apprentice give such an innocent smile.

"That's beyond the point. You used to be a killer. Every man who takes another's life must undo his past to attain entrance to happiness. Most however, enjoy the killing. If they don't undo their bad habits which most don't, they are sent here. This program is called 'Killers Sins'. You're not doing very well so you have to watch out. Goodbye Jake." He said as his body was warped making him disappear.

"Wait!" I yelled desperately trying to stop him but it was useless. He was gone and I have to wake up.