Stockholm Syndrome (Narry Boyxboy)

{20}

Flashback

Niall

"I'm sorry."

"You say that too much." I sighed. Ben quietly cried to himself, trying to take my hand but I declined his touch every time.

Why was he crying anyways?

I was the one who just got cheated on.

"I know. I know I'm so sorry." He cried.

I couldn't even look at him. How could I look this boy in the eyes after everything?

'I'm sorry for drinking when I promised not to, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for missing our date, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for hitting you, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for fighting, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for calling your mother a bitch, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for ruining prom night, Niall.'

'I'm sorry for cheating on you, Niall.'

"Why did you do it?" I asked. Ben shook his head, reaching for my hand again but I shook my head and placed both hands in the pocket of my sweat shirt.

"I don't know."

"Did you just want someone- I don't know, taller? Buffer? More emotionally put together?"

I was short, scrawny, pale and not all emotionally there. Ever since I came out of the closet, I've always lived with Depression and my anxiety got worse. Ben made me happy, I wasn't so depressed anymore. But I still had my days, and ever since then, I've always been this little gay boy who hides away in the shadows and does my homework, reads and writes and what not... I've never been like Max or like Ben.... Out going and partying, hooking up with guys and what not. It just... Wasn't me.

"No. Niall, I don't want anyone else but you. I just- I don't know. I was desperate, horny, drunk, I don't know he made me feel alive for a second and I regret it so much I'm so sorry. Niall, I love you. Please believe me."

"I believe you love me- I believe you regret what you did."

"I do. Oh god Niall I do."

"But-"

"No."

"Ben-"

"Niall I'm begging you. Please, it won't ever happen again I love you so much please. Please don't do this I need another chance." He begged. This time he forced my hand into his own. I tried to pull away but Ben was so much stronger than me.

I was forced to look him in the eyes whist I spoke and with each word, a knife was lowered further-

And further-

And deeper-

And further into my chest.

"You've been slacking for a while now. Prom night: why did you have to spike the punch? Why did you have to leave me to go get high with all your wrestling buddies? You left me on our night together. Why did you ruin my family dinner by calling my mother a bitch? I know she doesn't accept us, but she was pretending for your sake! And tell me, why did you get waisted off your ass that night I asked you not to drink? You realize you almost got in a car accident that night and died? If I wouldn't have picked you up in time- I would have lost you that night. And why must you fight everyone who even looks at us the wrong way? You can't do that! Some people don't accept us and some do! Learn to live with it."

I didn't mean to cry, but I did. And it only made Ben cry more.

"Niall- I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry. And I'm sick of you always being sorry."

"I'll make it up to you. I promise, I'll be a better boyfriend."

"I don't want a boyfriend anymore." I confessed.

Ben looked up, his grey eyes red as his face scrunched up and he let out a sob. "No." He cried.

I felt terrible, I didn't want to do it but this was just the last straw.

"I'm sorry, Ben."

"No! No please, Niall. Niall, please." He placed his head in my lap, crying into my jeans as he gripped onto my hands tighter than ever before.

"I love you." He kept saying. I ignored it, I wouldn't say it back.

Of corse I still loved him.

Love isn't a feeling you can just switch off. I was hurt, disappointed mostly, but I couldn't hate him. I was still in love with him and that's why it hurt. I knew this was the end though, this is where it had to end. And I knew I would move on, this love was just a lesson learned I guess. I would eventually move on and so would he, I wouldn't be in love with him forever... No. But for now, I was still in love with him. And that's why it hurt. Because it mattered.

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{A/N} so.... Should I do a character ask?

I really wanna do one but idk if anyone will really participate and ask the characters questions....

So like. Comment if I should do one or if you'd participate in it.

Also! Thank you guys so much for the votes and comments and reads! It's amazing to see all this good feedback in my notifications! Like this has never happened to me before so like... I'm just so happy lol love you guys!