All I Want For Christmas

10. It Happened At Midnight

"I can't believe you just came for that. I'll see you when I get back." I kiss him goodbye at the airport.

"It was worth it. Come visit me before classes start. It's much warmer in LA than New York."

"No promises but I'll try," I smile.

I am a piece of shit. Just this morning I was kissing another man. I didn't tell him because I don't think nothing will come of it and it's the beginning of our relationship. I know it's a shady thing to do and fuck I'd be pissed if they did it to me but I also know that I won't do it again.

"See you in LA then." He smiles pressing his lips to mine. It's a light kiss and gentle.

"Alright, see you there." They call his flight one last time and he is gone. I walk back to my car thinking of what I should do. I drive to Jay's house and pray that Louis won't be there.

One thing I know for sure is that I won't go there at midnight to see him. I know a big part of me is curious to see what he wants but the other part of me is scared to have him say he doesn't want to see me. Like never see me ever in his entire life and that would be a tough blow. Here I missed him while he wanted nothing to do with me.

I also have to think about my relationship with Cameron. It just started and honestly I feel like a piece of shit not telling him about Louis' kiss. Yeah, I am going to tell him and if he finds that he doesn't want to be with me well that will be fine. He deserved the truth, he has been good to me since day one and he came all this way.

My family was probably still at Jay's. I wasn't ready to go back to the hotel and wait for noon to come but I also wasn't ready to go to their house. Either way I was most likely to run into Louis. Maybe he was still asleep and I could stay in the hotel for the rest of the day until I was actually ready to go home. Well whenever it was that my family decided it was time to go home.

First, I'd make a stop somewhere where there might be food. I am not sure where it would be open and it's been a while since I've been around these parts. I had to look around or else I'd have to starve until we got home. I would go home now but I don't have the key. It's so stupid that I don't have one but then again they changed the locks when I was away.

Did I have anything to worry about? This is the real question? I hadn't seen Louis in many years and he said sorry. This could be one of those times where you just want to catch up and try to make yourself feel better. I don't know, I don't mean that he is better than me. He might just want to know that things turned out alright for me or something. Then maybe he would feel like he did the right thing by leaving but this is just one of million theories in my head.

Finally, I was able to find a restaurant open today and I was currently having some Chinese food. I had the hotel room for another night if I needed it. The small table made me feel as if I was back home in New York. We're still waiting to have that marvelous and high fashion apartment but to our good fortune they're occupied. Somehow it feels more lonely here or may be the thought that it's Christmas and I am alone makes it feel even more so.

I shoot my sister a quick text see what they're up to.

Katie: Merry Christmas, Haley! Please tell me that you are getting ready to leave!

Haley: Merry Christmas to you too! And no :(

Haley: I know you are ready to go. Come and talk to us!

I don't respond at all and throw my phone in the couch where I plan to spend the rest of my day. I grab my brand new throw and cover myself. In my pjs all comfortable for my day in. These were the days that I craved for in New York but not like this. Somehow I am bothered that I have nothing to do but I turn on the tv and flip through the channels.