How to tell your wife she cant cook: The Epic Story Of A Unlucky Husband

GPA

Its been a month since I made the mistake of marriage. 

The huge mistake of marriage.

But I'm glad to say that she finally went a cooking class with her friends, she came back and still didnt know how to cook but it was better then before. But she is only improving, so i decided to test her GPA. Her "Good Pizza Aptitude". Yeah man, if she cant get pizza im ordering the divorce papers immediately, because anyone, I mean ANYONE can make some damn pizza, because all you have to do is put that preordered costco pizza in the oven. Thats it, you cant possibly mess that up. So i bought the premade pizza and left it in the kitchen for her, to make. I come down to eat 30 minutes later to see that my kitchen is on fire.

MY FREAKING KITCHEN ON FIRE.

This girl is gonna die today, lord help this girl, im about to chris brown everything out of this girl yo.

 "ANN, WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE??"

"Uhh"

" Nah shutup you ignorant little idiot, all you had to do was heat up a damn pizza and you screwed it up, shame on your stupid self. Can you even toast bread?"

" What the hell is bread?'

"Ann."

"Yes, baby?"

"Get the hell out of my house."

"How about you do the cooking for a change since you wanna always disrespect my food, how about you try it, punk."

"I will then, I will do a way better job anyway."

One thing you guys should know about me is that I never back out when i challenge someone, because i aint no punk, i aint no little girl. Im like Vladimir Putin, a strong fair warrior who saves the lives of millions of people. He is one of my role models, i have a bunch of pictures of him on my walls and everything.Long live Putin. Long live swag.