weary travelers.

GOD, IT HURTS

Izuku Midoriya has become better at dealing with the cruelty around him. It's easier to deal with pain when you expect bruises and cracked bones. It's easier to deal with loneliness when you know you don't have friends to betray you (it's easier to hide when you know being seen will hurt so much more). But he doesn't think he ever healed from the scars Kacchan gave him. Those will stay forever.

They are small, but they are permanent―for the most part. Tears in his uniform and the loosening of sound in his right ear (ringing, ringing, ringing). He doesn't think he ever healed properly. Not as he'd have wanted. Not like Mom would have wanted. Then, he doesn't know what Mom would want, she's always at work, not that he's complaining. He knows that she is doing her best to be a mother. Sometimes, though, he wants to be selfish. It isn't enough. He silences those thoughts, Mom would be disappointed. She didn't raise him to be like this. She didn't raise him to be selfish; so he isn't. He lets Kacchan punch him because making Kacchan angrier would be bad. Letting Kacchan hurt other people would be selfish and he isn't supposed to be selfish.

Izuku Midoriya wants to become a hero, it is the ultimate selflessness he can pursue. A savior, a symbol of kindness to those in need. It is the best thing for humanity. He will become a hero, now all he needs to do is wait for his quirk (it doesn't matter what it is, he's going to help anyone he can). He's sure he'll have one; Mom has one and it's been a while, but he thinks Dad had one too. Fire Breathing would be so cool, like a dragon! He used to say. That was back when Dad came home. That was before Mom cried when she thought he was asleep. That was before they moved because Mom couldn't afford the house in the nice neighborhood. They live in the slums now; Izuku won't complain though. That would be selfish. He won't be selfish after everything Mom has done for him.

(He never gets one. He gets other things instead, burnt clothes and charred notebooks. Scars enough for a lifetime. Izuku is sure he'd rather have a quirk, he used to pray to a God when he was younger but he'd stopped believing in God when Kacchan told him to kill himself. After his classmates shoved news reports of quirkless suicides in his desk.)

Today is the first time Izuku Midoriya lies to his mother. It's a hard thing to do and he knows she knows he's lying to her, but she just tells him to be careful. His uniform was expensive so he understands. She hugs him before he goes to bed, he says he loves her too, that it was just an accident, that he got too close to the pond and Kacchan got a little angry. He lies again: he says Kacchan apologized after. That this really was just a big accident because he's really clumsy. This isn't being selfish, this is sparing her. He lies to himself so much he believes it.

He's withholding her the pain, she's unlucky enough that he's her son.

It was raining, he remembers. Sprits of water bursting from the sky as Mom but cream on his burns and a Edgeshot themed bandaid on top. He laughed with her, about how clumsy he was and that he would be more careful playing with Kacchan. (He tressures those moments, he loves his mother, he really does.)

He still plays with Kacchan the next day.

The burns on his palm ache and itch (it is something he will grow used to), Kacchan doesn't apologize. Kacchan does his mug-shot grin, with teeth (fangs) and the harsh curve of his lips. A sneer, Auntie Mutsuki calls it.

That's what he remembers her calling it. He doesn't go over to the Bakugou's anymore.

_

Izuku has always been like his mother, he thinks about it in the future. That they have the same tells.

Kacchan gives him another burn today. His hands go pop, crackle, boom and it splatters from his shoulder to his collarbone, he cries. It burns and bleeds and hurts, just like the first time. Kacchan tells him that he doesn't deserve to cry. That he was being dramatic and cowardly. He's quirkless, he doesn't deserve to do anything. He's useless. A Deku, it's in his name after all, not theirs. (Mom says Dad picked it out. Maybe Dad knew he'd be useless and that's why he left because he didn't want a quirkless, useless, crybaby son.) He's a Deku after all. Deku's don't deserve anything.

That isn't the first burn scar Kacchan gives him, that isn't the last time he lies to Mom, but it's the final time he trusts his classmates. They all trust Kacchan because Kacchan is strong and he's going to become a hero. Izuku doesn't think Kacchan is a hero. Izuku doesn't feel safe around Kacchan.

Izuku writes notes on heroes, he thinks they're so, so, so cool. If he ever meets one, he'd go crazy. Though, if the heroes are like Kacchan, he might run away. Kacchan is no hero, but he writes notes on him too, because Kacchan's quirk is really cool, just like heroes. Just like All Might. (Kacchan doesn't share the same sentiment that Izuku does. He calls him Deku and stalker and other words that Izuku flinches at. He gets new bruises and burns, ones that bubble down to his elbow and scratch his collarbone, it covers the old scar with more pain. He wants to tear his skin off and it burns.)

He doesn't draw Kacchan dressed in hero suites anymore. Kacchan stands in front of burning buildings now, explosions fall from his fingertips and burn others. Kacchan gives someone else the scar Izuku has on his elbow and shoulder. Those papers are burnt before Kacchan burns them himself. Izuku doesn't want to be a stalker, heroes aren't stalkers.

Heroes aren't Deku's either. He doesn't like the still small voice in his head. He keeps the predilection and ignores the laughter behind him.

Mom never finds the scar on his elbow and shoulder and collarbone because he wears long sleeves to sleep, so when she's there she'll never find out. He always locks the bathroom door, even though he showers in the morning and Mom is never home in the morning. He's not sure if she sleeps, but he doesn't say anything; he just does his laundry and cleans and cleans and cleans, because Mom can't stand the smell of dust. He rubs at his wrists until they turn pink and the skin has wrung away to chip and fallen flesh.

Like mother like son.