josh + olivia

chapter seven.

the next day

olivia woke up to the other side of the bed being empty. she started to panic a little bit until she heard the door open and she saw her curly headed boyfriend walk in. she let out a breath  she didn't know she was holding in as josh walked to her side of the bed and sat at the edge. he wrapped her in a hug and stroked her hair.

"sorry i had to answer the door. tim came to check on us. but i'm here now and i've got you" he says and she smiles into his chest.

"it's okay. as long as you're here that's all that matters" olivia reassures him. they sit in silence just holding each other until josh speaks up.

"um, you don't have to, uh, answer if you don't want to but do you need to see someone like a doctor or something for your anxiety and eating problems?" she nodded before replying.

"yeah. when i was younger i started going to therapy when they diagnosed me with severe anxiety and about two years ago i started developing an eating disorder and it's only gotten worse."

he doesn't reply, just holds her tighter in his arms.

"you'll get through this. i will be here every step of the way."

---

over the next few days the cast watched over olivia a lot. they didn't know the whole situation but josh implied to them that it was severe. olivia only ate when she was around the cast so they wouldn't have to worry about her but she wasn't fooling anybody. they could tell she was a little smaller and always on edge but didn't question her. 

the cast was hanging out in the lounge room when tim walked in to get olivia and sofia for school.

"ugh i hate school" sofia whined. neither of the girls wanted to leave their friends but were pushed away by the cast so they could finish school and then hang out. the girls walked into the room that was divided with a wall, making it pretty lonely but luckily there was a clear window where they could see each other.

after three hours of school sofia and olivia were finally finished. sofia ran over to the brunette to give her a celebratory hug. olivia started to pack her things as sofia informed her about what she was learning

"and there was this stupid chart and i was like 'how the heck do i do this?' and i never figured it out so i put a random answer. how were your classes today?" both girls laughed before olivia replied

"it was okay. there was some key code solving thing that i didn't understan-" she was cut off by a sniffle she didn't know was coming. she stood up, putting her hands on her hips and looking both ways and tried to take deep breaths. sofia noticed this and slowly came up behind, resting her hand on olivia's back.

"liv?" 

she wiggled her shoulders causing sofia's hand to lose it's spot and took a deep breath to reply

"no need to worry. i'm good" 

sofia wasn't so sure of that but took a few steps back to her own desk to pack up. olivia tried to resume her cleaning but her anxiety had other plans. her breathing was becoming very uneven as she reached her hand to heart to try to calm herself. her hand became very shaky as she stood up once again and began tapping her hand to chest to help, but unfortunately it wasn't working. 

"no, no, no, no. this can't be happening" olivia mumbled. sofia turned her attention to olivia, hoping she would be okay. 

olivia gently shut her eyes and started counting "100, um uh, 97, 94, um, 90 uh" she took a deep breath and shook her head before trying to continue "um 80 uh, um"  she gave up at that point and started shaking her hands. her hand came over her eyes to rest on her temples as she put her hand on her hips and tried more breathing exercises. she tried finding her phone in her pockets and went all over herself to find it but couldn't seem to find it. sofia became very nervous and had tim on speed dial in case. 

olivia finally found her phone and at that point her breathing was terrible. she was struggling to hold her ground but managed. she clicked josh's name

"c-come on j-josh. please pick u-up" she mumbled trying to shake her hands as she paced back and forth. it eventually went to voicemail, not helping olivia's case. 

"josh? i n-need you. i um i t-think it's h-happening a-again" she knew josh never checked his voicmail and if he didn't answer he was probably busy. she slammed her phone down on the table and leaned over using the table to help balance her as her breathing escalated. sofia came to olivia's side to help

"i, um n-need j-josh" she said in between her breaths. sofia nodded and ran out of the room to the lounge room to see everyone sitting there chatting

"josh! where's your phone" sofia yelled and everyone turned their attention to her

"it's dead. why?" he was confused on why she needed to know about his phone

"it's olivia. i don't know what's wrong but it's like she couldn't breathe or something. she told me to come get you"

he immediately shot up and ran to the room with sofia right behind him. olivia was sitting against the wall holding her chest as her breathing kept escalating. josh kneeled beside her and grabbed her hands in his as the frankie, julia, matt, larry, joe, kate, tim, and dara came into the room to see the terrible scene in front of them 

"what's happening?" frankie asked as he moved closer 

"she's having a panic attack. can somebody get me some water please?" josh asked and sofia ran to find water.

olivia's panic attack was worse than any he had ever seen. his sister has them too, but none as bad as liv's. she was breathing very loudly and hyperventilating which only made it worse. 

"liv, look at me" he said trying to get her attention. she was still holding herself while her breaths escalated even worse to the point she sounded like she was dying. she tried to look up but couldn't so she hung her head low and tried to respond but no words could be heard over her breathing. the cast was extremely nervous since most of them don't know about anxiety or panic attacks

"listen i know it's tough okay but i need you to count with me. got it?" he says and she nods her head. 

"o-one, uh um tw-two, th-three, um ugh fou-four, f-five um- six, se-seven, e-eight, um nine, t-ten" 

she was able to count to ten and finally caught her breath. she was exhausted and fell into josh's arms crying

"aw liv, don't cry" dara said as everyone sat around

"i'm sorry" olivia said while josh stroked her hair and ran his hand up and down her arm

 "sorry for what? you didn't do anything" joe reassured her

"i probably ruined y'all's plans. you guys could be running lines or practicing the songs but instead y'all are here babysitting me" she said into josh's chest but they heard her

"that doesn't matter. what matters is if you're okay" tim tells her and everyone agrees. after a few more minutes of crying and hugging, tim tells josh to take olivia and go back to their apartments because liv needs a break. they gather their things and say their goodbyes before heading towards the car. when they got in josh immediately wrapped his girlfriend in a hug as she cried softly. once they pulled away she grabbed his hand to hold in it his lap and turned on music to make her feel better.

once they got to josh's apartment liv went straight to the bedroom and crawled under the covers. josh got in behind her and pulled her into his arms. she quickly fell asleep, being so tired from the previous incident. he was wide awake, brainstorming. he had been trying to plan a good first date and after hearing everything she goes through, he knows she deserves it.