Took a long ass time to update this book but when I'm being depressed how will I motivate others. but no worries, better late than never.
Hope you enjoy this and I sort have motivated you guys in some way or other!
~*~*~*~*~
"Life sucks yaar!"
"Life isn't fair!"
"Why is this happening to me!? I never wished or prayed that something bad to happen to others, then why me?!"
We do think like this don't we?
That how life is unfair with me, how life makes me taste only failures, and sometimes, why did I even get a life if it was meant to be like this!
And these were the exact same thoughts which my mind was revolving around for two months now. Until... *Dramatic pause*
Until I started getting the symptoms of corona aka COVID 19 aka ZJB (Zindagi Jhand Bimari) my sweet little brother gave that name to me by the way. *don't forget to note the sarcasm*
Those who angry with me that I didn't tell you this, I'm sorry don't be angry because I really don't have the strength right now to manofy you people!
And don't worry I don't have corona because I haven't taken the test yet, but I'm doing all the home remedies.
But this is not what I want to talk about today.
So two days back when the actual symptoms started, frankly speaking, I was scared shit and I still am, because obviously I don't wanna die so early, no one wants to die but *dramatic pause again* it isn't in our hands.
Coming back to the topic, I was standing in my balcony tow days before with a cup of tea, thinking. thinking what all shit is happening in my life since two months.
1) I'm unable to write chapters of my story like I used to.
2) I don't think i can handle the community well.
3) I'm not even able to be my own therapist, counselor, or psychologist, and Babu Rao's voice in my head instantly says "kya psychologist banegi re tu!"
So yeah in short I was insecure about my writing, my community, about my career.
And a few days before this I even searched some important tips to become a writer, and I came across a video called 'These are the five signs to know you are a writer' and the keeda in me obviously clicked on the thumbnail.
Now the fun part starts!
All the five sings, like all, the whole five signs did not match to me, the personality I'm and blah blah. Being insecure and watching that video.... what it did to me, I can't even define to you guys!
Writing to me is something I treasure dearly because it was given to be my priceless possession and hell will break loose if I'll disappoint him in this!
I got depressed. No therapy, no counseling tricks, nothing seriously nothing worked.
I stopped writing!
I made another account because of these insecurities because I didn't feel like operating my own account anymore because every time I used to go to my notifications, out of habit I used to swipe left which shows the news feed and there I used to see my fellow talented writers whom I follow thanking their readers or some of the readers praising the other talented writers for writing so good and etc which is a really good thing but apparently made me more depressed because I thought I can't write like them! and like every other human I started wallowing myself in self-pity!
