ashes, ashes - stucky

- seventeen -

There's a song up here^^ play it while you read, starting when you see this little dude: ('ｰ｀)

When they were a few blocks away from home, they came across a strange sight. There was someone... crying? He was short, with brown hair and glasses.

Bruce Banner. Steve grabbed Bucky's arm, dragging him towards the boy who was sobbing under a large tree. Barnes was never the best at comforting people, but he supposed he'd stay to support Rogers' attempt.

"What's the matter, Bruce?" Steve asked cautiously. He knew that the other had a bit of an anger problem, so he made sure to stay as calm as possible.

Bruce jumped at the sound of someone's voice. He wiped his tears hurriedly, refusing to look at either teen in front of him. "I don't- I don't wanna talk about it, Steve." After only five seconds of silence, he spoke again. "Yeah, I do wanna talk about it. Sorry for being a jerk."

Steve dismissed Banner's concern, shaking his head. He squatted next to his friend, leaving Bucky to look around awkwardly. "Don't be sorry. What happened?"

"Well, I..." Bruce began, removing his glasses. They had fogged, so he wiped them on his shirt. "I told, um... I told someone I liked them. It's senior year, y'know? Yolo and all that." Trying to make himself feel better, Banner laughed at his own joke. "But he didn't say anything. He just- he just looked at me! I just ran, Steve. I didn't know what to do." More tears threatened to spill from the boy's eyes, but he blinked them back.

Smiling compassionately, Rogers placed a hand on Banner's knee. "Oh, Bruce." He giggled a bit, brows creasing. "Thor didn't understand what you meant. He told me about what happened today. He didn't say it was you... but he told me he was hoping you were gonna tell him that you found him 'desirable.'" The blonde used air quotes to accentuate his words. "But then you said that you liked him, and he just got so confused. You know he's not from around here."

Bucky couldn't stifle the laugh that forced it's way from his throat. He covered his mouth, but still received a glare from Steve.

"Oh." Bruce wiped his eyes a final time, pushing his glasses back onto his nose. A real smile had found its way onto his face. "Thanks. You're the best, Cap."

Steve earned the name Cap one day playing kickball. He usually wasn't allowed to play in phys ed, but the nurse made an exception for one day. Rogers' team won by a landslide, as he had taken initiative and come up with plays and strategies. The students named him team captain, and tended to call him Cap whenever they saw fit. His leadership qualities were undeniable.

.....

"How was your day, boys?" Mr. Barnes greeted the two at the door, patting them both on the back.

Bucky answered for them. "It was good, dad." It really was a good day, in all honesty. Nothing had gone horribly wrong, no one said anything rude to either of them. If someone had, then maybe it wouldn't have been such a good day after all.

('ｰ｀)

They headed straight to the backyard, grabbing two bottles of celebratory root beer on their way.

Steve flopped down in the grass, spreading his limbs out and letting the sun soak his face. Bucky sat down next to him, opening both of their sodas with his teeth. He passed Steve's over to him, who tried to drink it while laying down. This resulted in him coughing and wiping root beer from his face.

Laughing, Barnes helped him by wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. "You're such a loser." He joked, taking a swig from his own bottle.

Rogers only smiled, eyes on the clouds. You could get lost in those eyes. They were robins eggs, settled in the perfectly crafted nest of Steve's face. Bucky only dwelled on this fact for about two hours a day... for the last three years. It wasn't weird, though. It was more like a 'hey, bro. You got nice eyes. No homo tho.' And his hair... it was so soft! C'mon, how was he not supposed to notice when the sun brought out Steve's natural highlights?

So maybe Bucky had a crush on his best friend.

Maybe he's had said crush for a while now.

But that didn't matter. Steve was straight. He'd dated Peggy Carter, one of the most sought-after girls in school. Why they broke up, Barnes figured he'd never know. The brunette hadn't even figured out his own sexuality until after a year of pining over his small friend. Girls were never enough to catch his eye, and he'd finally figured out why.

Bucky's entire life was suppressing one thing after another, and he was so unbearably sick of it. He'd tell someone... eventually. Tearing his eyes away from the other and clearing his throat, Barnes realized he'd grabbed a fistful of grass. His grip loosened around the green as he sighed.

"You're pathetic."

Not now. Not when there were so many thoughts running through his head. He couldn't stop the angry hissing from invading his head.

"He'll run away. He'll-"

Bucky felt a pressure on his hand. He looked down, seeing two hands wrapped around his own.

"You're okay, Buck." Rogers whispered, looking deep into the other's eyes. He'd come to recognize Barnes' mannerisms and what they meant. Both friends knew everything about each other, and it was obvious to anyone who'd had a conversation with them at the same time. "I'm right here." He felt Bucky's hand shake as he ran his thumbs over it.

Bucky couldn't speak. His gaze was hollow, pleading. The voice in his head had turned into an atonal symphony of snarls and sneering laughter.

Steve knew what to do. He wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck, placing his hands at the side of the brunette's head. He pressed his chest against Barnes' ear, allowing his friend to hear the heartbeat within. "I'm real, okay? I'm here, and I'm real." Rogers buried his face in Bucky's hair, making sure that his own breathing remained at a steady pace.

They stayed like that for half an hour, Bucky silent and rigid, while Steve talked him through his episode. After the full 30 minutes, Barnes relaxed a bit. He was no longer stiff as he leaned into the blonde's hug. "Thanks." His voice was hoarse, like he'd just woken up.

"Anytime, Bucky." When Steve let go, Barnes missed the warmth considerably. He wanted to grab his friend and pull him back into the embrace, but he didn't. Instead, Rogers threw him a playful wink. "I'm with ya 'til the end of the line, ya jerk."