Holding Back || j.g.

Chapter 1

"Hello?" I answered my phone. It was none other than my best friend, Jack Finnegan Gilinsky. Not your typical teenage boy with the success he's had. Other girls see him as the Jack Gilinsky. I don't. Knowing him for so long, he's always been, and always will be, that dork I've known.

"JAMIE!!! How's everything back home?" he asked. He called in to check on me at least once a week, depending on how busy he is. That's how much he cares. Sure there's the magic of texting, but I don't see it the same way as a legit phone call.

"Great. I mean other than the fact that my best friend in the whole wide world is being missed by me. But I have amazing news to share with you." I said enthusiastically.

"Okay wait. I need to warm up for this," he joked, "okay go for it."

I chuckled, "I GOT INTO UCLA! Full ride scholarship baby. I have been waiting for this letter forever."

"JAMIE THAT'S AMAZING! Does that mean you're coming to live out here?" I sensed the smirk on his face.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I miss you enough to be around you 24/7 again." I teased.

"That hit me. Ouch. I need medical attention. Someone please help me." he laughed.

"But in all seriousness, I think I will. I never planned on staying in Omaha all my life. Hell of a boring state Nebraska is. Family is what I'll miss most though."

"That's true. I know how you feel. It's rough and not a pleasant feeling in any way possible. But that doesn't mean you won't have a splendid support system. You have me and the boys." he said.

He was right. I've known the original Magcon boys for a while now. Well, since Jack & Jack have been in it. I've grown pretty close with all of those boys. Just, obviously, not as close as I am with Jack. They're basically my second family.

"Hey, Jamie!" Johnson said.

"Jack Jack is that you? Is it THEE Jack Johnson I'm speaking to? OMG MOM I MADE IT! I'M TALKING TO JACK JOHNSON!" I shouted.

"Biggest fan. Am I right?" he asked.

"Neh. I hate you guys with a passion."

"YOU JOKE TOO MUCH!" I heard Cam say in the background.

"Well, bubz, we gotta bounce. We'll call you back later or something." Jack said.

"Okay. I'll talk to you guys soon!" I said.

"BYE JAMIE, I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE MY SOULMATE AND NEVER FORGET THAT!" Cam screamed before Jack hung up.

Once the phone call ended, I started packing my bags to head off to LA tomorrow. I didn't mention it to Jack because I wanted to surprise him. He's always away, and I never get to see him as often anymore. Plus, I want to get a feel of the city before I decide to actually stay there. If LA seems like too much, then I'll live elsewhere, around the school or something.

I would say the feelings came pouring in after Jack had saved me from a total douchebag named, Ryan. Ryan was an ex-boyfriend of mine. The worst first official relationship I've ever had. One day during school, Ryan approached me, after we broke up, throwing low blows left and right. Jack usually walks past my locker to check on me, so when he heard what Ryan was saying, he stepped in and defended me. I didn't know where it was all coming from. Jack was very angry and it was a little frightening. I never knew how scary he was when he was mad.

I've kept a huge secret from Jack that concerned my relationship with Ryan. He was abusive of me. If I didn't do as he said, which was 99.9% of the time, he would hit me, very aggressively. I'm thankful that he never forced me to have sex with him. That would've been bad enough for me to die. I never told him because I didn't want him to get mad at me for not getting out of that toxic relationship sooner and that I should've told him as soon as it started happening. I know him well enough to know what he would say to almost every situation. Ever since that day, I don't know what would have happened if Jack didn't walk by at that moment. He's a lifesaver. I never thanked him enough for it. But this secret has been eating me inside for years. It's been 4 years since the incident happened. But when it comes to things like this, it's very, very hard to forget.