Holding Back || j.g.

Chapter 2

I was in the middle of packing before my phone started to ring. The one and only, Nash Grier decided to call me. I ended the call without answering and texted him that I was busy. Of course he asked why, but I said it was a secret.

That word. "Secret." It kills me every time I say it. I know I should tell Jack, but it's been 4 years. He'd be too upset that I didn't tell him sooner. And just like that, our friendship will be destroyed. Chances are, if I told him now, we won't be able to repair it. It's not fair that he tells me everything, whether good or bad, but I hesitate to tell him one of my biggest secrets I've ever had. It kills me that I haven't told him. I know that if I don't tell him soon, he'll eventually find out. Then he'll be even more upset because he heard it from someone that isn't me.

Once I finished packing, I decided to call Nash back to see if everything was alright. He was a caring person, despite all the hate he gets from something that was said in the past. What do I know about the past? I can barely move on from it.

"Hey, Nashley." I greeted him.

"Yeetings, Jaime." he said.

We do this on purpose. After I found out that this pisses him off, I've started calling him that. Eventually, he adapted to it, which explains why he calls me 'Jaime' and not 'Jamie'.

"What'd you call me for?" I asked.

"Just wanted to see how things are. Jack told us about you getting into UCLA. Congrats!"

"Thanks, buddy. Did he announce it to the whole world or something?" the curiosity was killing me.

There was a long pause before he answered, "He was gonna tweet it, but decided against it because it's your personal business and he shouldn't expose it to the media. Well, his fanbase at least."

I was kind of glad he didn't decide to tweet it. If it were to be shared to the world, it would be best my followers heard it from me first. Otherwise, rumors will go around and things would blow out of proportion.

"It's nice to know he thought about it first before he tweeted. That he thought about me." I faked laughed to ease the little tension.

The boys were talking in the background but I couldn't tell what it was about. They were bickering and yelling, so I got a little worried. Sometimes when the guys argue, it gets very bad. 50% of the time it leads to a tweet, which starts the whole twit war turning fans against each other and whatnot. I started hearing Nash scream and shout, I really couldn't tell if it was a bad argument or something silly. But after I heard Nash shouting, I decided to end the call without a goodbye. It wasn't my business and I didn't need to bud my way into it.

I got tired and none of my friends were awake at the moment, so I decided to try to fall asleep. I've got an early flight to catch tomorrow morning so it would be best if I got as much rest as I could. But of course, the same thing runs through my mind every night. Every moment. It haunts me.

It's not easy hiding something from someone that has been so kind to you all your life. I don't deserve Jack as my friend. He's too good of a person. I decided to put myself in his shoes. If he were to tell me something that relates to my situation, I would be hurt and very upset. It would take me years to forgive. I needed to tell him and I needed to tell him soon. I just need my timing to be right. I can't tell him too soon because he has an EP coming out and his movie has just been released. It's a big milestone for them and their career. I don't want to be Betty Buzzkill and ruin his happiness. He's shining in the spotlight and floating on Cloud 9. It would be selfish of me to ruin this glorious, most unforgettable moment for him. It's just not right of me.

*****

It's way too early to be up at this time. But, if flying out to LA means being reunited with people I love, then I guess it's worth it. I checked in and walked to my terminal. I was anxious to get to LA and see these boys. It's felt like decades since I've seen them. But in reality, it's been about 6 months.

The flight was very short. About 3 hours and a couple minutes to get from OMA to LAX. Now all I needed to do was grab my suitcase, catch a cab, and get to the boys' condo. I told JJ that I was coming this morning so that he would leave the door unlocked for me. My plan was to hide my luggage at the end of their hall, open the door and hide. JJ knew the plan. I filled him in on everything before I got on my flight, which was this morning. I forgot about the time difference, so I woke him up early.

I had gotten to the condo building place... What do I call it? It took me a little while for me to find it. So I called JJ.

Then I heard Gilinsky get jealous, "Why did she call you and not me?"

It made me laugh. Jack means the world to me. Well, so do the other boys, but there's a special place in my heart for Jack. When I found it, I hid my luggage, opened the door, and heard the boys get scared. JJ played along, too. He didn't have much of a choice. Just as Gilinsky approached the door, I ran and jumped onto him. At first he got scared and kept asking "Who is this? Who are you?"

That's when I got off his back and buried my face in his broad chest. "Jack you're such an inspiration to me. Will you marry me?" I couldn't hold my laughter back any longer so I bursted out laughing.

"Jamie?? What are you doing here?" he asked.

I smiled, admiring his face before answering, "I wanted to get to know the area I'll be living in in a couple months."

His eyes lit up. "YOU'RE MOVING OUT HERE?"

"Well, depends on the area. For example, this place would be a good place to live in, but I gotta figure out price of rent and other things I'll have to end up paying." I exclaimed.

"We have a spare room." JJ said.

"I dunno guys. I don't wanna make it seem like I rely on you guys too much." I sighed.

"We'll split the rent into 3s. Same for every other bill. Just split them into 3s." Johnson said.

I thought about it for a second. "You guys do realize that it's gonna take me a while to actually start paying rent right? I just got here, no job. Which means no money."

Jack stepped up to me, "Bubz, we aren't saying you have to start paying rent right away. Just start paying when you're finally all settled in. We aren't saying, 'You just got here so start paying now.'"

"Still, I'd feel bad if I moved in, no pay, no participation in any part of this living situation."

"Participation? We graduated already. No school. We aren't in school. There's no such thing as 'participation'. Don't worry. We got you covered. And when you land on your feet, then we'll officially start splitting up the rent." JJ said.

I smiled a little, "Thanks you guys. It's nice knowing I've got friends like you."

A/N: I know, I know, this was a crap chapter. But just to clear things up, Jack G. will be known as Jack, and Jack J. will be referred to as JJ/Jack Jack. Love you guys!