The Problem With Love [+18]

9 : Confusion

After a long walk we arrived to the lake. The reminder of that walk had been akward and silent. He didn't mention anything and I was too akward to bring it up either.
"I'm just going to sit on the dock" I said as Julian made his way to the end of the dock. He turned around and pulled off his shirt. He was standing, back to me. Dropping it on the dock before kicking off his shoes and pants. I had sat down and tried to look at everything other than him. He turned around and laughed at my bright red cheeks before jumping into the lake.
Julian yelled out about the cold water, making me laugh as I stood up and made my way to the edge of the dock.
We talked like that for a little while, him in the water and me dry on the dock. The uncomfortable air from the walk had faded away and was then replaced with the familiar nature we had developed over the last week.
"Come in" I shook my head at him, watching him beam up at me.
"No way am I getting in, it looks freezing"
"Water's great" Julian stated as he splashed some of the lake water up at me.
"While I don't have a bathing suit" the truth, but mostly an excuse.
"Swim in your clothes" He countered causing me to have to rethink.
"Are you kidding, this is Sydney's shirt"
"Underwear? or wait you aren't wearing any" Julian's words made me blush more and to shut him up I began to kick off my flip flops. Julian took this time to pull himself up and out of the water. Leaning against a stake as I took off Sydney's shirt and my pants.
"Tada" Julian said as he stood fully straight. I refused to meet his eye as he glances over my body.
"Don't mock me" I whined as I crossed my legs.
He laughed again before pushing me full force into the freezing cold lake.
"Julian!" I yelled at him as he jumped back into the lake himself. He was laughing hard at my flustered and annoyed face as I swam in place. I hit him on the shoulder as hard as I could, he only laughed more.
Thing's settled all of the sudden. It was just us alone in the lake, us both in our underwear. It reminded me off those teen TV shows. This was the first time I felt like I was a real teen. The party didn't count.
I felt giddy and found myself smiling along with Julian. Surprisingly not akward in only may underwear.
Julian smiled back at me before getting a serious look on his face, I was then afraid that there was a sea monster or something behind me. I semi turned around but was cut off by Julian grabbing my arm and turning me back to him.
His hands when to my tangled wet hair as he brought my face closer to him. Our lips almost touching, but I was the one to press his lips against mine. He tasted like mint chap-stick and had a waxy feeling. I placed my hands on the back of his head and moved the rest of my body closer to his. Julian's tongue darted out asking for access. I allowed him to trace the insides of my month with that tongue. There was a certain type of softness to the kiss, like he was holding back. Being gentle like he said he would be last time.
Then I remembered Col, I remembered how I was suppose to never see Julian again. I stopped kissing him letting my hands fall from his hair. Julian noticed. He pulled back to look at my worried features and went to say something.
"I just wait to me friends" I rushed out as I fully pulled away from him.
"Wish you didn't say that" He seemed taken aback, which made since.
"Why" I said as quietly as I could. I felt misplaced. I began to move my hair to the front to cover my chest, not that Julian was looking anyways.
"You always drop bombs when we kiss" He began, "Honestly you've been giving me mis-signals all day." My hands went up to my head as Julian voiced his confusion. I ended up swimming away from him and going back up on the dock.
"I''m sorry" I squeaked out as I dropped my head into my hands. Julian followed my lead and got out of the water and sat down next to me. He draped a arm over my back as I tried not to cry.
"Are you upset with me?" I asked with a shaking voice.
"Kind of?" It sounded more like a question as he starred out on the water.
"You don't want to be friends anymore do you" I wined as I looked at his side profile.
Julian sighed loudly before switching his view over to me. Staring down at me with those dark eyes.
"What do you want from this" Julian said slowly empathizing the you.
"I just want a friend" I mumbled, but I was starting to feel confused. Did I just want to be friends?
"Then I'm your friend. That easy" He offered me a smile but it didn't match with his eyes.
"I liked kissing you"
"I do, until you turn on the dramatics" he laughed at his own joke, causing me to smile and laughter slightly as well.
"I'll stop kissing you, Sher. You kiss me when you want to be more than friends" I nodded in response before leaning my head against him. Col didn't have anything to worry about. I didn't have anything to worry about.
Julian and I were just friends.